"Juxtapose" - A Buzzfeed Unsolved Fan Fiction

Chapter 2

#1 trending video on YouTube for three consecutive days; the fastest view-gaining video of the entire series; the largest number of comments on a video on the entire channel, and the co-star directed and produced it. When Ryan viewed the statistics for "The Mesmerizing Diagnose of the Dancing Village" merely two days after its release, he almost couldn't believe it. The number of views the episode got in a matter of days equated to what any ordinary videos of his got over the course of several months, sometimes a year. Ryan shut his phone off and flopped back onto his bed, squinting from the intensity of the sunlight pouring into his room.

"I should be happy for him..." He shifted his head to the side. "Why? Is it... Do I lack something? What's he got that I don't?" After a moment Ryan sat up, still not leaving the bed. "What; would the show not be anything without him? Would—Would I..." He got mad at himself for believing his own lies. No matter what he told himself he couldn't shake the intrusive thought from his consciousness. Ryan got up and trudged his way to a calendar hanging on the wall across the room. Bits of writing found refuge in all of its boxes for the month, and the days that had gone by harbored large red 'X's over them. He picked up a black permanent marker and used it to cross out the word "therapy" from the next day and rewrote it to later that day; he knew he would call and schedule it later.

~

"F**king finally." Ryan chugged the last of the beer from his red plastic cup and chucked it into the trash can outside of the building's entrance. His hands briskly found refuge from the harsh freeze inside his beige coat pockets as he power-walked to the parking lot. Throughout the company party he sparred in a continuous internal battle between wanting to celebrate his friend's accomplishments, but also feeling insecure about his own work. He decided that he couldn't simmer in those thoughts any longer and left for his therapy session early.

"Agh." A cold gust of wind flew into Ryan's eyes. "Why am I still going? I know what she's going to say: "You're your own person, don't compare your work to others'—" It's the same thing every time." He paused in his tracks and stared down at the frozen concrete. Some people walking from behind nearly bumped into him but walked around as Ryan took a moment to think. "Just go through the motions," he mumbled to himself and sighed before returning to his stride.

~

"Hello."

"Hello, I'm scheduled for 2:15 with Mrs. Rose?"

The receptionist typed a few words into her computer. "Yes, Mr..."

"Bergara."

"Ah, thank you."

Ryan took covert pride in memorizing faces he saw once or twice and committing them to memory, and he recognized this receptionist as new.

"Your room will be down this hall," she pointed down the hallway to her right, "and it'll be the fifth one on the right. Would you like me to show you?"

"No, thanks; I could find her room blindfolded."

The receptionist looked surprised at Ryan's response and attempted to brush off her embarrassment. "Oh, alright." She gave a courteous laugh. "Enjoy your stay."

"Thank you."

Ryan unzipped his puffy coat and folded it over his forearm before arriving at his room. Typically the entrance gave him a feeling of assurance and tranquility, but the floor-to-ceiling window at the end of the hall a couple yards away from Mrs. Rose's door dimmed from the thick layer of clouds that day, emanating somber tones. Not wanting to be rude, Ryan disregarded the rectangular window on the left side of the door and knocked twice.

"Come in, Ryan."

Opening the door, warm air from the room penetrated his face, nearly making him produce a smile. "Hey, Mrs. Rose."