run over - ruel vandijk

• everything i've ever wanted •

* * *

the drive home was silent. no one has anything to talk about and we where all just tired of everything.

i walk into my house and are greeted by my sisters. they hug me and make sure i'm okay and everything.

we walk over to the couch and talk about everything. i zoned out a lot during the conversation -i just really wanted to sleep.

i excuse myself and run up stairs. i walk into my room and lay down on my bed.
i close my eyes and wait for sleep to come. but it doesn't. i've never been able to sleep during the day.

i sit up in my bed and grab my guitar that was lying against the bed. i strum some chords that i had made up the other day.

i think about the song i had wrote about y/n.

i was so alone without her. it had only just been a little over a week without her but it felt like years. ever since we became friends she would come over here almost everyday, and we'd hang out, or in the park or we'd just sit and listen to music together.

just being in her presence felt like everything i've ever wanted.

she's everything i've ever wanted.

that's why i've had all this free time. because she's not here and no other friend, family or person was or is like her.

i put my guitar back down and head to look out the window. i'm surprised to see y/n walking across the street, the way to the park.

i immediately scramble to find my shoes and quickly run out the front door.

i finally spot her sitting alone on a swing. she looks up at me and half smiles. like somethings on her mind.

i walk over and sit on the swing next to her.

"hi." she says like she's on the verge of tears.

"hey." i reply.

we sit in silence like we always do, enjoying each other company, slowly swinging.

moments pass and y/n finally breaks the still silence.

"ruel, i'm so sorry, i don't care that you forgive me or that you're okay with it, but it was so stupid and selfish of me to have ignored you and completely shut you out like that for a freaking week."

"y/n i'm not mad-"

"well i am." she yells, "i'm mad at myself for doing that. i know how you would feel and it's not a good feeling to be alone with no one."

i run a hand through my hair, "i wasn't alone alone...i mean, i had my family and other friends..."

"oh yeah." she mumbles. "i forgot people have other people."

"what do you mean?" i ask, trying to keep our conversation going.

"huh? oh..." she trails off looking for the words, "uh...my parents are still...out...you're the only friend i really have...now..."

"ohhh you're parents are on holidays still. how long have they been out? i feel like ages ago you said they where gone."

"just...just a long...long time..." a tear falls down her cheek and she gets up and walks off.

did i do something wrong? was it something i said? (😉)
i follow her as she walks out of the park and sits down on a bench, crying.

"y/n!" i shout embracing her in my arms, holding her tight. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean-"

"no, don't be sorry." she sniffs, "i...um...i just miss them...i wish they would come back already..."

she cries into my chest as i hold her tight.

"it's going to be okay, y/n." i reassure her.

she sobs some more making my jumper really wet. then like out of a movie, it starts to rain. but i'm still holding on to her, and she's still holding me too.

moments pass and she finally calms down. we pull apart and the rain gets heavier. i wipe tears out of her eyes and the rain off her face. she does the same. i didn't know i was crying too.

i stare at her. how beautiful and incredible she is. i was holding her face, she was holding mine, i just wanted to kiss her...

then, like she read my mind, she leans in and presses her lips against mine. i was shocked at first, then i kiss back. her lips where soft, and cold. her tears ran down her face as she kissed harder.

we pull apart, gasping for air, the rain drenching us. and she smiles. and for the first time, i know it's real.

"i remember the first day i ever looked into your eyes and felt my entire world flip." she whispers and i lean in to kiss her again.

a/n:

:')