Stay With Me

5

"Are you alright, Pelle?" she cooed as her other hand ran through his hair.

"Yes," he breathed out. His voice trembling at her touch.

Pulling her down onto his lap, the two stared at each other for a moment, waiting for one of them to make the first move as to what they should do next. His heart was pounding as each second passed between them until it had become too much to handle. He lifted his hand, putting it on the back of her neck and pulling her into a slow, deep kiss. Vanessa could feel the difference in the way he kissed her. He wasn't afraid, shy, or anything like that. For once, he seemed confident in his actions. He took the lead, his lips in sync with hers as the kiss deepened, dragging his tongue across the bottom of her lip before pushing through the space and invading her mouth with his tongue.

Trying to hide her surprise, Vanessa did her best to match his excitement as her own grew stronger. Her fingers found their way into his hair, tangling themselves in the long blond locks as he picked her up and moved to the mattress, his lips never leaving hers for a moment.

"Pelle," she moaned as he kissed down to her neck.

Dead felt the heat rise to his face as his name left her; he wanted to hear it again. Biting down against her neck, Vanessa cried out once again.

"Pelle, are you sure about this?" her words so quiet he hardly heard her.

Kissing her softly once again, he answered. "I want to be happy with you. I want you to be happy with me more importantly. I... I want to show you that I'm yours completely ...to give you every part of me."

Vanessa stroked his cheek softly. "Pelle, you don't need to rush into anything like that before you're ready. It's okay if you want to wait to do that, it doesn't mean I love you any less or that you love me any less. Okay?"

Dead felt a moment of relief. It wasn't as if he wasn't ready to take the next step with her, but somehow, the fact that she would wait until he was ready to do it made him feel...important. Sure he would be asked his opinion on things when it came to matters of the band, but Euronymous always had the last word when it came to all that so it wasn't something he even bothered with anymore. If he was being completely honest, it only made him more sure of what he was doing.

Struggling to find his voice again, he nuzzled into her neck. "Would it be alright if...if we...um, cuddled with...without clothes?"

You're an idiot, the voice rang out. Of all the things to come up with you had to go with that? Maybe Euronymous is right. You're weak. Pathetic...

"Of course we can, Pelle," she smiled as she kissed his nose.

Forcing himself to return the smile, he was silently thanking her for stopping his thoughts from getting any worse. Pulling him up with her, she rested her hands on his shoulders as his own found their way to her small waist. Tugging ever so slightly on the hem of her shirt, he looked to her to give him some sort of sign to continue. The heavy red color on her cheeks becoming more apparent as she nodded in approval. With a few quick motions, both of them were completely exposed to the other.

He gazed in awe as he took in the sight of her naked body for the first time. He had never done this before...had never been completely vulnerable before. For the first time in his life, his walls had come down completely. He was scared and they both knew it. Doubts raced through his mind as he watched her eyes travel across his scarred body, her slender fingers tracing over the scars and cuts he desperately tried to hide from her. He could never really wrap his mind around the fact that she truly loved and wanted to be with him; but it wasn't something he was about to question or argue with.