The Fear Of Faith [2]

16. Cal

I eventually accepted Orla and Seamus' welcome and kept myself to myself whilst trying to be respectful to them. I was still getting myself in trouble but they grew used to it and eventually, after dropping out of high school, I bought my cabin from some old guy who was at death's door and being taken into some care centre. He sold me it for a pretty price and at sixteen, I was finally on my own the way I'd always wanted to be.

It wasn't until Bethan made her grand entrance into my life that I actually felt something deep within me for the first time. The first time I saw her at Leiper Lake bonfire, flat on her ass after bumping into me, I noticed how pretty she was right away, even in the dark.

After that, she began following me and I knew she had heard the rumours. She was brave wanting to check me out herself; at the time I thought she must have been dumb to be wasting her time trying to figure out someone like me. When I realised she was following me, I knew that she was only asking for trouble. People would start to say things about her if they spotted her lurking by my place and I didn't want her involved in my shit plus, I didn't know her and I was worried about having another situation of being accused of shit so I had no choice but to try and scare her off.

The day I pinned her against the wall and told her to stay away from me, I almost kissed her. I had reached out and touched her hair without realising what I was doing but I was lost in the moment; I was drawn to her. It was the first time in my life I had felt that urge and I quickly tried to scare her and walked away as fast as I could because I was so confused.

'Cal?' Tori made me flinch as her voice knocked me out of my daydream and I glanced over at her leaning through the archway.

'Sorry,' I mumbled, shaking my head.

'There's a guy wanting a quote from you,' she said.

'Sure,' I sighed, moving to my feet and heading through.

I spent the next half hour going over a design with the customer and afterwards, Tori and I began to clean up the shop.

'What are your plans for the weekend?' she asked as we cleaned up our stations.

'Well, maybe I'll come in here,' I sighed.

'You don't work Saturdays,' she said. 'It's okay, I'll be fine on my own.'

'Yeah but I'll just be sat at home not talking to Bethan,' I said. 'Could be making money.'

'Well then yeah!' She smiled brightly. 'Come in; we can take some of next week's bookings and try and get them here tomorrow to take the heat off. We can just order pizza and pig out all day at work.'

'Sounds good,' I said. 'Then again, maybe you're right.'

'About what?' she asked.

'Maybe I should just make up with Bethan,' I sighed. 'Or at least try. How much longer can it possibly go on?'

I watched as she studied me carefully, her bright coloured eyes flickering over my face as her mouth was tight and still before she blinked dramatically and a wide smile spread on her face.

'Well, yeah,' she said. 'Probably a good idea or I don't know, maybe just come to work and let her do the chasing.'

She shrugged casually before leaning back down to wipe her station and I thought about her words.

'That's not something she would do,' I said. 'She's pissed off at me remember.'

'Yeah but Cal, honey, you've done nothing wrong,' she sighed. 'You said sorry for checking on her at the party; what more does she want? She's off getting drunk at parties and getting arrested and I mean, do you not think that maybe...ugh, I don't know. You know what, yeah, you should definitely stay home and make up with her.'