Memories Work Like Magic

chapter twenty-four.

Hurried feet dashed across Union Street; businesspeople going to meetings, citizens shopping, performers showing off their talents, children clinging close to their mothers, and Jack. A man with a cluttered mind, on his way to Artifact Coffee to meet his ex-boyfriend for the first time in eight months.

It might be a little bit contradictory, because of course, for the last few months Jack wanted nothing to do with anyone that he'd previously met in his life, but he admitted his longing for Alex just the night before. So call it a date if Jack manages to reunite with his former lover.

He joined the decently-sized lineup to order himself a coffee as he waited for Alex in the shop. After receiving it, he checked the time, reading 12:01 p.m., and suddenly all hope was lost.

He's late, Jack thought sadly. He didn't even reply last night, how can I expect him to show up on time, or at all? I'm being stood up, but it's okay. I know he probably hates me. I wasn't exactly nice when I left him.

As he sighed and took a sip of his coffee, a tall figure approached his table. Jack looked up, expecting it to be an employee asking him if he needed anything. Jack was shocked that it wasn't, and he almost dropped his mug onto the table as his jaw dropped.

Before him was a character that he hadn't seen in ages. Soft, caramel brown hair that almost reached his shoulders and a fringe draped over his forehead. Dark bushy eyebrows to compliment his deep eyes, those of which currently held no expression. He had a lanky frame, wearing black skinny jeans with one hand in his back pocket, and he wore a plain black tee shirt with an off-white zip up hoodie. Jack's stare lasted for about six seconds before the other man finally spoke. "You were probably worrying because I'm three minutes late, weren't you?" Alex's lips formed the smallest of smirks before returning to his original serious expression.

"I miss that smile,"  Jack accidentally blurted out. He quickly covered his mouth then looked down, fiddling with his fingers. His face was red as a tomato. Alex's eyebrows scrunched up slightly and he didn't dare say a word. He then rose one eyebrow in question. It's been eight months since they'd last seen each other and he thought Jack wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

He practically broke Alex down breaking up with him, and Alex still wasn't over it, emotional as ever that he lost who he thought was the love of his life, and because of this his band was taking a break and his career dreams were crushed. He went job-searching for a few days, but gave up when he realized he wouldn't enjoy anything as much as the exhilaration of making music. He continued songwriting but for none other than the sole reason that it helped him get his feelings out. He had no plans of a solo career, and knew that if he even had to resort to that for a way to make money for the rest of his life, he'd spend his days dismally reminiscing band practice and touring with his best friends. And he wouldn't dare look for a new band for the same reasons. He sees himself as the tragic hero in the play that is his life, who had reached a peak moment in his life and was now ready for his downfall. And what better way to tumble than to embrace the grief? He'd think to himself. His income would come from Nothing Personal, which they had released almost a year ago, and once that ceased to be relevant he'd give up.

He hoped that he could get his life sorted out before that could happen, but so far that wasn't happening any time soon. Unless...

"Alex," the voice of his ex-boyfriend was very faint. He definitely missed the sound of Jack saying his name, but he couldn't show it at all. Alex was pulled out of his trance, not realizing he was staring at the ground, and looked up to Jack with yet another questioning look. "Sit down." Alex was still staring blankly at him. "Please."

A slight cough came from Alex as he attempted to recompose himself and sat down without a word. He missed coffee dates with Jack. In fact it was in this same shop that they had their first official date as boyfriends a few years ago. Alex stared blankly at the table as Jack studied his ex-boyfriend's face. He was always one to be less subtle with these kinds of things, often times Alex was blushing and telling Jack to stop whenever Jack stared at attractive strangers in public places.

"Y'know I was wrong abou—"

"I was wrong about you too," Alex coughed awkwardly again, now blushing. This entire scenario was just so clumsy and neither of them were sure how to fix it. Jack was silently praying that Alex would say something smooth soon; he was always a smooth talker. But he realized that he just invited his ex to coffee to try to get him back and he hadn't even expressed a thing in the ten minutes they'd been sitting there for.

Jack cleared his throat and straightened his back. "Sorry, let me start over," he wanted to make sure that his point was going to get across seriously, and that he was able to communicate it clearly. "Look at me for a sec. I know I was... Not the nicest in the time that we're, yknow, splitting up." He had only said three sentences but his palms were getting sweaty and he was cursing himself for his shaky voice and awkward pauses. He looked into the eyes of his former lover, realizing that Alex was returning that look. This gave him courage, so he continued. "I know it was a serious matter, and that it would be better if we weren't together,  but I..." He trailed off once again.

"Jack, if you're trying to get me back it's not going to work," Alex states bluntly. This was a lie, and Jack knew it, because he knew Alex and himself well enough to know that this was going to work. He was determined to lure Alex in with his sentiment.

"Hear me out," Jack continued as if Alex hadn't said anything. "These past 8 months have been hell for me. I thought I was better off without you, and though I probably still am, the thought of you constantly lingers in my mind. I keep telling myself I don't need you, but even that involves thinking about you, then I get emotional, then I drink and sleep and the cycle repeats. And, I'm gonna be honest with you— Actually maybe I shouldn't say that..." he muttered the last part.

"No! No this is fine, continue," he would never admit it, but Alex secretly just wanted to hear Jack's voice for longer.

"Forget that. I mean, of course I'd be honest with you," Alex raised an eyebrow at that. "But I don't think what I was going to say would be very fitting until you're my— Okay, Alex what I'm trying to say is I really miss you. And I'm sorry. I know that the day I left I spat that I hated you, and I can't believe myself. I was childish, but I still love you." Jack was shocked that he had blurred that out. It was true, but that definitely was not how he wanted to say it. He wanted it to have more feeling and passion so that he could sound more convincing.

Alex looked at Jack in shock, remembering the night that they broke up. Jack had called him so many demeaning names, yelled to the point where his throat must've gone sore, slammed doors, and left Alex quietly crying in his kitchen as he was left alone.

"You're still pretty childish if you ask me," Alex stared nonchalantly, a stone cold expression on his face. Jack knew he was trying to hide any sort of emotion. Alex was really in awe of the fact that Jack dragged him here to try and get him back, and as much as he wanted to throw himself into the arms of the person in front of him, he was extremely cautious because he couldn't afford to get his heart broken again. He didn't really accept Jack's apology, though he thought that if the whole band got together then maybe his life would regain its direction. Sounds about right. But would he want to accidentally fall in love again only to have all of his time wasted caring for Jack when he'd probably just leave him again?

"Alex, look, I'm saying that I want to try this again, and that I don't care if you don't want to, I just want to spill my feelings and call it a day. So if you could stop interrupting me--"

"So you're wasting my time basically."

Jack's head sunk into his hands in frustration and defeat, and he could feel the pressure of his tears trying to make an escape. "Jesus fuck, Alex. Please don't make me reconsider this shit."