Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Civil War: Scene 5

False: Curse you Cubfan!!!

Cub: A G-Team member, a Star Team member, and a mole. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Grian & Doc: Back to the base!

(The two teams run to their bases)

Grian (to G-Team:) Okay everyone, it's happening. I mean- I didn't really want to fight them. But Cub clearly wants some fighting action because-

Doc (to Star Team:) Are the G-Team doing anything? Who's gonna take the first-

Impulse: I will! With my trusty ghast cannon!

(Impulse shoots a fire charge at the G-Team's base, blowing a hole in their main window)

Grian: And we have to plan some- (cut off my explosion) It's happening! Tango, Iskall, to the control room! Stress, you're with me on the battlefield. Jevin and Cleo, you're on defensive duties. Go, go, go!

(The teams battle)

(Tango and Iskall run to the Convex's desk, which is decorated in flashy ConCorp colors with a large ConCorp logo)

Tango: Scoot over, ConCorp! (shoves Cub off of desk)

(Tango and Iskall unravel a paper saying 'G-TEAM CONTROL ROOM' that covers the ConCorp logo)

(Cub gets up. Both teams battle as Cub spectates)

Cub: Folks, it looks like absolute heck has broke loose. The battlefield has turned into a firey mess with Team Star's ghast cannon dominating the ground.

Tango: Iskall!!! Someone sabotaged our redstone! They took out the ammunition! Only the secret weapon is working!

Iskall: Well, it's finally time to release the secret weapon of doom! 100 zombies in the Star Team base!

(Zombies are released in the Star Team base. Star Team battle them until each one is dead)

Cleo: This was much worse than I expected!

False: (who is pursuing Cleo) You can say that again!

Doc: Mumbo! Get the creeper cannons!

Mumbo: Creeper successfully launched! Creepers will land in 3 minutes.

Doc: 3 minutes?! We need them now, you spoon!!!

Mumbo: You should've told me that 3 minutes ago!

(Grian sneaks into Mumbo's view. Doc doesn't notice him)

Grian: Psst... Mumbo! Over here.

(Mumbo and Grian sneak off)

Mumbo: You didn't tell me it was going to be this crazy! I'm doing my best to NOT harm the G-Team, while looking like I'm trying to harm the G-Team, without looking like I'm doing a bad job at harming the G-Team.

Grian: I understand. I didn't expect it to be this chaotic.

(They look to the various people fighting)

Grian: What info can you give?

Mumbo: We have a ghast cannon-

Grian: Yes we KNOW there's a ghast cannon, Mumbo!!!

Mumbo: There's creepers floating towards your base. They're gonna land in about 1 and a half minutes.

Grian: Oh no. How did our zombies do?

Mumbo: It gave us quite a scare, but I don't think anyone died to it.

Grian: It looks like this war is going to last a little longer than expected. Where's a good place to exchange information without being suspicious?

Mumbo: Our bases?

Grian: No, Poultry Man already clogged the mail system. How about we continue to use the shopping district? We can exchange notes, and in each note, it tells the location of where the next note is.

Mumbo: Right, okay! (looks around) I'm gonna go back to my team now. But we have to look like we're fighting. Go chase me!

(Grian chases Mumbo as they shout nonsense)

Grian (overlapped:) I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna beat you up! Arrrghhh!!

Mumbo (overlapped:) Ah!! Oh no! I'm definitely being chased right now! Help!!!

Grian: Aarrghh!!! You little mole! Your filming channel sucks!

(Mumbo stops)

Mumbo: Hey!

Grian: I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!

Cub: Ladies and gentlemen, there doesn't seem to be a clear victor yet.

Grian: RETREAT!!!

Doc: RETREAT!!!

Wels: We never retreat, Doc!

Doc: Don't be stupid, this is NUTS!

Cub: Reported from the ConCorp satellite. Both teams failed to do minimal damage to each other's bases.

Scar: At that point, both teams realized that the war was going to take longer than they thought. The first battle finishes without a victor.

Joe: (entering) Howdy guys! Sorry I overslept. What'd I miss- Oh.

Scar (to Cub:) So, the first battle was a giant unorganized mess?

Cub: That was basically it. It would have been cool if you were there. I'm only one man.

Scar: Sorry.

Cub: No need to apologize. We got each other's backs. Besides, the two teams got their acts together in the following days.

Scar: Did they, really?

Cub: ...sort of?