Nothing To Lose

13 - hold me while you wait

The days turned into weeks.

Beam still remembers everything that happened on the island. He recalls every detail everytime he closed his eyes, like an instant playback to remind him of what he feels. His nights with terrors were no more. It was replaced by late hours filled with questions, each one remained unanswered.

When Beam and Forth got back to the resort the next morning, Ming and Kit had an on going search party for him. Most of the staff were about to board motor boats and sail across the ocean to find him. Kit more than anyone else was at his wits end.

"Did you do something to Beam?!"

"I swear Forth! I'll have you killed!"

"We told you to back off!"

Kit was mad despite the explanation that Beam gave him but of course he left out some details. It was understandable. Kit only wanted to protect him. Beam could not forget how Forth just stood there as he endure all of Kit's accusation and threats thrown at him. He was looking at Beam the whole time, a sense of finality was written in his face.

The night before they headed back, Forth didn't say anything about what happened between the two of them and Beam felt like he should just go along with it. Things were uncomfortable as it is. Even the ride from the island to the resort, Forth remained quiet. He would glance at Beam to make sure he's safe and sound but he never uttered a word to him.

"I love you Beam.." Beam could still hear Forth's voice. The way his voice broke was embedded in his mind.

Every muscle and bone in his body wanted to say it back. But Beam couldn't bring himself to open his lips and respond to Forth. Beam did what he always did best, he walked away, from the shore, from Forth.

And now Beam was spacing out inside his office instead of working. He would glance at his phone and then would return to staring into nothingness.

Beam slumped on his chair and shook his head in frustration. He grabbed his keys and went to Wayo's office to let him know that he needed to go somewhere.

It took a couple of deep breaths in the driver's seat before Beam turned the engine on and drove away.

The house looked sadder than he remembered. It looked somewhat colder too, like all the warmth have been drained dry.

His heart was palpitating at the thought of entering the house. It made his skin crawl and it filled him with dread.

He parked his car just outside the gate. Beam leaned his head on the steering wheel, torn if he should get off or just drive all the way back to his office while there is still daylight. In the end he managed to exit his car and press the doorbell.

An old lady walked towards the gate, momentarily stopping when she recognized who rang the doorbell.

"Master Beam! You're back!" Boonsri was unable to hide her excitement.

"Is uhh..  Forth here?" Beam asked.

Boonsri looked at him with confusion.

"Do you not know Sir?" She opened the gate a little wider.

"K-know what?"

"Master Forth sold the house Sir. It's been empty for a few days now. I'm just cleaning before the new owner moves in." Boonsri explained.

"Oh.." Was all Beam could say.

Beam went back inside his car.

He must have sold it because of me.

Beam found himself driving to Forth's company building. He didn't understand why he was here nor does he want to. He grunted before leaving his car thinking he will surely regret coming all this way.

The receptionist upon seeing Beam ran to greet him and accompany him to the top floor, they exchange plesantries before he was left at the care of Forth's secretary.

"Sir, your husband is inside the conference room." She pointed at the big door at the end of the hall before leading Beam inside the opened door.

"If you don't mind waiting in his office. He will be with-"

An angry scream echoed along the hall and what sounded like a table being pounded to dust. Beam felt his heart skipped a beat.

Forth!

He turned to look at the door on the other end of the hallway. His mind filled with immense agitation. Running on instincts, Beam bolted to the conference room and busted through the door.

"Forth?!" He yelled, gasping.

All eyes were on Beam. There were atleast twenty people seated around a long wooden table inside the room who seemed to be in an on going discussion, all of whom stopped to look at him.

"Oh.. I.. uhhm.. I'm s-sorry.. I thought.." Beam stuttered. He can feel the heat rushing to his face.

Forth stood up and went to Beam who stood still frozen with a blushing cheek.

"Beam? What are you doing here?" Forth's angry face lit up the moment he saw Beam. He couldn't help smiling as he looks at him being shy and all. Forth wanted to smother him with a hug and kiss him where he stand. It's been too long since he last saw his beloved. This was something he did not expect to happen today. And although he was glad to see Beam there is a part of him that is afraid.

"Uhhm.. Sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. I shouldn't have come. I just thought.. I'm sorry. I.. b-better go." Beam turned to walk away but Forth caught and held his hand.

"No. Stay. Give me fifteen minutes. They're wrapping up the meeting anyway." Forth placed his hand at Beam's back and led him inside.

"Oh.. Yeah.. Okay. S-sure.." Beam nodded awkwardly.

"I s-should just wait outside." Beam attempted to save himself of more embarassment.

"No. Wait here. Wait by my side." Forth pulled up a chair next to him.

"Everyone, my husband will be joining us." Forth announced proudly.

Everybody turned to Beam to greet him and all he could give them was an awkward smile.

The meeting continued. Beam sat quietly and tried not to attract any attention.

He glanced at Forth.

Forth was focused on the presentation and the employee who seemed too nervous and ocassionally corrects himself with whatever error he makes. Each one makes Forth even more serious that his brows could almost meet.

Beam silently gasped when suddenly felt a hand against his palm under the table. He looked at Forth who still had his eyes fixed at the front as if he wasn't doing anything. Beam tried to hide his smile as he looks down to stare at their hands. A tingling sensation swirls inside his chest, it was as if his heart had taken a leap on its own.

Forth's hand slowly intertwined with Beam and he placed it on his lap. His other hand gently rubs the top of Beam's hand.

Beam glanced at Forth again. His eyes were still focused at the on going presentation but his lips were now curved in a sweet smile.