Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Civil War: Scene 3

Mumbo: Look at my mustache, right? You think I can grow this without knowing a little about things?

Grian: He's got a point.

Iskall: Fair enough.

Grian: Pinkie promise?

Mumbo: I all-finger promise. You can somewhat count on me!

Grian: Alright...

(Mumbo exits)

(Transition into outside Team Star's base where Doc is working) 

(Mumbo enters with a shulker box)

Doc: Hello Mumbo, and welcome to the Star Team base! What brings you here?

Mumbo: So... I heard that you had a little accident and blew up 40 stacks of TNT... so I decided to lend you about a half a shulker box of TNT. I'm sorry it's not a full box. I thought I had more-

Doc: No man, it's good! I really appreciate it, Mumbo. I've been trying to cut a deal with ConCorp but Cub (gazing to Cub, who is sitting on the ConCorp desk) hasn't been responsive... Might just be me, but I think they're trying to drive up the prices.

(Beat)

Mumbo: Uh, you're welcome!

Doc: So, Mumbo. I know some people call you a clueless guy, but I'm sure you're aware that there's a civil war going on on the server.

Mumbo: I'm aware.

Doc: And the guys over there, the G-Team, are our enemies. In their Brita water filter of a base.

Mumbo: I mean... I think they're alright!

Doc: What?

Mumbo: No, I think they're okay. I mean, they're nice- I- they're- like- erm- uh - you- nice- y'know- I mean like- erm- I've- I'm not-. Look. I'm not IN the base...

Doc: (laughing at Mumbo's stuttering) Alright... So, Mumbo, have you chosen a side?

Mumbo: Nope, I'm neutral.

Doc: Come. (gestures to a large redstone contraption) Come here. I want to show you something.

(Doc shows Mumbo the creeper cannon)

Doc: Gaze upon it, Mumbo. Gaze upon its beauty.

Mumbo: Woah...

Doc: Redstone's your bread and butter. I'm sure you want to be part of a team that does amazing redstone, right?

Mumbo: I...

Doc: Unless you're already part of the G-Team...

Mumbo: ...Look, Doc, I got something to confess. I'm a spy.

Doc: Wait what?

Mumbo: Grian and Iskall came to me earlier. They gave me a seat, and even put arms on the side to make it look more comfy. They sat me down said that they wanted me to join your team, but not join your team. Essentially, I'm a mole for the G-Team.

Doc: They went to recruit you to be a spy? They really went that far? That's next level!

Mumbo: I know.

Doc: I'm really glad you came to me and confessed. Since you've broken the G-Team's trust, I guess that means you're on the Star Team now.

Mumbo: Wait-

Doc: And you can be our mole!

Mumbo: Wait, so I'm a mole.... for... Wait, let me get this straight. I'm a mole for team G, then I come to you, and you know I'm a mole, but you also want me to be a mole to team G. Like a roundhouse mole?

Doc: That's what I call a classic double agent.

Mumbo: I think I need a cup of tea or something to wrap my head around this. But I'll make sure to do all the moling I possibly can.

Doc: Alright, see ya, Molebo Jumbo.

Mumbo: See ya!

(Doc exits)

(Grian enters)

Mumbo (panicked and confused:) Grian!!!

Grian: Yeah?

Mumbo: I'm a mole for Team Star!!!

Grian: That's great! That means they trust you.

Mumbo: But I'm still on team G?

Grian: Well obviously!

Mumbo: So, I'm a triple agent?! How does that even work?!

Grian: Beats me!

(Grian exits)

(Mumbo stays in the corner of the stage for the next couple scenes)