Spleen Juice and Spinal Fluids

765 12 26
                                    

Author-Chan3409: Hows it goin it's me server admin god this chapter has been hacked and uh yeah join the server

A/N: Hey get out of here bitch, also you're breathing and you lost the game, lol.

We also have a discord now, here's the link: https://discord.gg/hgqejGs

Y/N POV

     "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" I scream after defeating the ender dragon for the thousandth time. Me and Chicken Nugget have been playing Minecraft for nine years straight.

     "What is it Y/N?" Chicken Nugget asks.

     "My pants are on fire!" I cry.

     "By the walls, they are! Follow me Y/N," Chicken Nugget commands. We then teleport to my grandmothers house.

     "Would you like some edibles my dearest swaglords?" My grandmother asks while she wears reflective sunglasses indoors after playing some CoD 2 on the Nintendo DS.

     "No thank you, I'm sorry, but my pants are on fire," I apologize.

     "Bitch you better eat these edibles! I fuckin baked this shit!" We downed the edibles, chicken nugget was filled with trepidation and was in a state of collywobbles and jim-jams.

     "Excuse me?" I ask.

     "Yes dearest," grandma addresses me in an unusually sweet voice.

     "How are frogs made?"

     "Magic." 

     "Cool, how are dogs made?"

     "The dog is an ancient animal. The dog is from a world seen by only dogs for it is so old and lost; it is said one has to bend time to get to it. The dogs were savages back then, wild and ragging. But some of the more calm dogs realized that this was no good so they performed a ritual. This would summon the great god of chapstick, Chappaquiddikulanistan. Chappaquiddikulanistan would take the dogs who could sing, to Venus. Dogs thrived in Venus tell the sun started putting them in terrible danger. So Chappaquiddikulanistan made earth. He then took the dogs there were they lived and watched as their new home was built destroyed and rebuilt."

     "Cool, now can you kill the fire on my pants?" I asked my grandma.

     "What to do mean Y/N, you're not on fire." I look down to see I'm still on fire.

     "The fuck! Of course Y/N's on fire!" Chicken Nugget screams.

     "Whatever, here, have a milkshake and a Minecraft girlfriend," my grandma offers.

     "Thanks for the milkshake grandma, but I already have a Minecraft girlfriend," I explain.

     "Grandma? That's Swagma to you!" My grandma aka swagma says.

     "Okay."

     "You have a Minecraft girlfriend?" Chicken Nugget asks.

     "Yeah, Dave, girl friend with a space in the middle called the friend zone. Anyway I love milkshakes!" I explain.

     "Oh yeah, milkshakes are hot!" Chicken Nugget cries.

     "Get in my belly!" I scream completely forgetting my pants were on fucking fire and I gulp down Chicken Nugget in the heat of the moment, feeling him slide down deeper inside me. Swagma gets a crazed look in her eyes as she brandishes the most dangerous weapon I've ever seen, a plastic butter knife. 

     "Join the rubber ducks!" she yells.

     "Oh my hot pockets," I say. She chases me, what were the rubber ducks doing with my grandma? What kinda kinky shit was this? fire pants and possessed swagmas? I then tripped over air like a complete idiot but managing to avoid her attack. 

     "Come on, don't you want to be cool like us?"

     "I'm sorry Grandma, but you aren't swag, and that wasn't very cash money of you." My grandma then exploded getting more fucking blood everywhere. I swear, by chapter seven I'm probably gonna have AIDS or some shit. "Damn it! Why can't people just die like normal people and not get their fucking shit everywhere, I'm just glad it wasn't actual shit! However, my grandma was truly a swagma before she was corrupted, so I salute the old gamer inside of you Swagma." I salute my swagma one last time before I phase through the floor into another demention like a bad ass. 



AN: Oh yeah gamers! We fucking did it! Let's get this bread!

Chicken Nugget X ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now