Hermitcraft Prank War: The Stageplay

The Prank War: Scene 3

False: It's a bowl of spaghetti.

Grian: It's the Grand Central Station. I propose (draws on chalkboard) that we finish his track for him! But we send him on a roller coaster throughout the station. At the end, maybe it could damage him? Maybe almost kill him?

False: I like the sound of that!

Grian: Yeah! Let's kill Ren! The ride of his life, you could say.

False: Nice one.

(They high-five)

Grian: Do you have knowledge about redstone?

False: Mine is nonexistent, not gonna lie.

Grian: Great! Me too! Two wrongs make a right! We have to be quick before he gets back!

Cub (narrating:) And so False and Grian spend 3 hours on the prank.

(Grian, on minecart, gets chucked into an obsidian pit)

False: Did the lava dispense?

Grian: I think we forgot the tripwire!

False: Oh right, yeah. I have iron at my base.

(False travels to her base, leaving Grian in the pit)

Grian: False...? False? I'm still down here. Could you toss my elytra? Or an enderpearl or something? False?

Cub: Trying and testing until it's finally complete.

False: The Grand Central Station prank is done! I love how noobish it looks. Nice touch.

Grian: Oh, I didn't make it look noobish on purpose.

False: .... Okay, then. Thanks for the help, Grian. The idea of trapping the ride was genius! If it was just me, I'd probably just do lousy griefing.

Grian: No, no, thank YOU, FalseSymmetry. For winning the headhunt and giving me an opportunity to prank someone! And another opportunity to trap someone in an obsidian box. With this time, lava flowing from above!

False: What do you mean 'another opportunity'?

Grian: Long story.

(The two continue to silently chat as lights off on their side of the stage)

(Lights on Cleo and JOEHILLSTSD)

Cleo: And next thing you know, I saw False and Grian making a roller coaster on the Grand Central Station. And that's when I was like 'oh, I messed up.'

Joe: You seem to have gotten yourself into a pickle.

Cleo: I kinda screwed over Ren. So I came to you, Joe, to get advice on what to do. I don't wanna mess with Grian.

Joe: Well, I believe it's best to be honest. If you don't want to tell her in person, you can put a note in False's mailbox telling her that she and Grian pranked an innocent man.

Cleo: (taking out pen and paper) What should I write?

Joe: Just be straightforward, Cleo.

Cleo (reading:) 'False, I changed the sign to blame Ren. It was actually Iskall, lol. Sorry.'

Joe: Put a frowny face to emphasize your guiltiness.

(Cleo puts the letter in False's mailbox. Cleo and Joe exit. False goes to check her mailbox. She reads the note)

False: Oh no. I knew it! Rendog is a good man! I need to get Grian! (while running across to get Grian) Grian! We've accidentally made a murder trap to kill an innocent man!

Grian: Oh, well nothing we can do now, can't we?

False: What are you talking about? Ren is my ravine buddy. We need to take the trap down-

Grian: But we worked so hard! I'm so tired!

False: Cleo changed the sign. It was actually Iskall who pulled the prank on my base. What should we do now, master of all prank?

Grian: Blame Iskall? That's kind of a punishment, right? (taking out signs) People say I pull a good Swedish accent.

False: Who says that?

Grian: (writing on signs) Uh... Poultry Man.

False: Who?

Grian: Uh, Poultry Man! You've never heard of Poultry Man?! The resident egg-throwing superman of the server. He's an expert at the Swedish accent! Yeah... Trust me. I know exactly how Iskall talks. (propping up signs) 'Oh ja, hi Ren daowg! It's me, Ishcall, your sveedish friend! I have seen dat your stashion is nat quite complete so I vinished it fur you myself! Please enjoy dis fancy new system for fast travel. Ja.'

(While Grian is confidently reading, False puts her hands to her face in embarrassment. Once finished, Grian looks to False for approval)

False (obviously lightheartedly sarcasm:) That's.... great. It sounds exactly like Iskall.

Grian (obviously lightheartedly sarcasm:) Yeah... we're totally going to get away with this!

False: Totally!

Scar: They were totally not getting away with this.

(They exit)

(RENDOG enters)

Ren: Ah, what a beautiful day on the Hermitcraft Season 6 server! Nothing can ruin this day-

(Ren notices the Grand Central Station)

Ren: What is that? It looks like a roller coaster? Looks kinda cool, actually.

(Ren notices False's base and bursts out laughing)

Ren: Who in their right mind built a pooping Grian chicken on my buddy's base?! I gotta say, I love the accuracy on Grian's face. Haha! I wonder who made this- (reads sign) Wait... what? Does that say Rendog? But I didn't do this. Is someone trying to frame me? Dude, what's going on in this server-

(Cleo, almost offstage, throws a paper airplane at Ren)

Ren: Oh, sup Cleo!

Cleo: I'm not here!

(Ren picks up the paper airplane and unfolds it)

Ren (reading:) 'Ren, I changed the sign to blame you. It's actually Iskall, lol.' Oh, that explains things. But what is on the Grand Central Station? Who is behind this?

(Ren reads the 'Swedish' signs)

Ren: Someone is trying to frame Iskall?! What in the world have I been sucked into? A prank... festival? (gazes to minecart) I guess the only thing to do now is to ride the roller coaster. (gets in minecart)

(Ren rides the roller coaster. He has a jolly good time)

Ren: Y'know, this is actually kinda fun! I really like how-

(Ren gets plunged into a 4x4 obsidian pit. Lava begins pouring from above.)

Ren: Wait, wait a minute! Wait a minute! (gets out of minecart) (reads signs) 'Thank you for riding the grand central station roller coaster. If you look above you, you will find your destination.' (looks up) No!! There's lava coming down! I can't get out! No!! (tries to punch obsidian) No!! This can't be happening! Tell my momma I loved her!

(Ren burns alive)

Scar: Renthedog tried to swim in lava.