In The Wait

In the Wait: Gabe

The following is an excerpt from the 3rd novel in The Cantos Chronicles called The Bones of Who We Are (2019) . All rights reserved.

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My eyes open to the exposed rafters above my bed. There's a chill in the air, and I burrow deeper under the covers to block it out. I close my eyes to return to the bliss of sleep.

School.

Shit.

You'll see Abby.

Abby!

My eyes fly open as heat spreads across my chest. I smile and my cheeks heat with a new awareness of my body and hers. What we did last night. I remember the feel of her in my arms.

I love her so freaking much.

I'm up and out of bed.

Your father supposedly loved your mother. Look what he did. I shake my head of the thoughts. Nothing is going to steal the golden joy I've got today.

Nothing.

I'm dressed.

My thoughts are a flurry.

I wonder how this is going to go down at school. Should I kiss her? Hold her?

Oh shit! The fight. Will I be suspended?

My phone vibrates. I smile hoping it's from who I want and knowing it probably is.

Abby: You awake?

My heart constricts thinking about her. Good morning. I write and add an emoji with heart eyes. As if she were with me, I feel her lips, her tongue, the way we struggled to say good night in the cab of the truck. "I love you," I'd said unable to stop now that I understood, unable to stop my hands touching her, making sure she was real.

Now, I can't stop smiling.

The three dots come up and stay that way for a long time. I feel the crease between my eyes as my eyebrows draw together. I wonder what she's thinking and have a moment of panic. What if she thinks she's made a mistake? My heart stumbles a moment, careening to a halt before slamming into a wall and sputtering back to life with an erratic pace. What if maybe I'd imagined everything? I type: What's up? You okay?

Abby: No.

I lean against the bathroom counter, my joy trickling down the drain behind me. The phone is in my hands, chest high, and I'm watching those three dots taunt me. It was too good to be true. I was a fool.

Abby: Going to the hospital.

I breathe, unaware I'd been holding my breath. At first there's a moment of relief she hasn't sent me a message which says we've made a mistake because I know last night was not a mistake for me. Within the span of a split second, my relief turns to concern. Why would she need to go to the hospital?

I write: Why? WTF? What's wrong?

Abby: It isn't me.

Me: Who?

Abby: It's Seth. There's been an accident.

My mouth drops open and closes. There's a mistake. I swallow down the doubt as I dial her phone. Maybe it's nothing and there's been a mistake. Abby answers on the first ring. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask.

I'm back in the school office last night after the fight. It's like slow motion in my mind. I see his head hung and the way he glances at his father. The fear. The look he gave me as Dale and I walked out. I remember thinking maybe I should do something, but what?