"S-see. You stopped. Y-"
"Shut up! There were angels around you, and-" I looked up and locked eyes with her, deciding to just use hypnosis, "you recall nothing of this situation, as though it never even happened. When others ask you where you were directly after this, you were just resting. Understood?"
"Understood." She replied dazed.
"When I snap my fingers this will take effect." I followed with that action and watched as her pupils dilated then she blinked and rubbed her head.
I exited the room just before I knew I'd snap back to the mentality I was at before.
.................................=.................................
"Z, you good in there?"
"I'm fine." I'm not a baby, dammit.
"Well, we gotta get going in a few. The shoot is almost done."
"Yeah." I rolled my eyes and waited until I heard them going away.
Another trigger, self-harm.
Which took longer than I'd like. When I could hear them in the far distance I continued to pull the object lodged in my arm, vertically. I stared blankly as the flesh tore, just feeling a slight sting, and the blood seeped slightly. But I wasn't elated. This type of thing used to bring me joy, but as it seems now, it barely even phases me. So to test my limits, I retrieved a new switchblade knife from my purse and dug it through my bicep. I groaned when it was still not satisfying. But just savoured the sting before slowly pulling the knife out a bit then slid it down my arm, right down to my palm. Just as minimal blood trickled out, the lengthy wound began to heal, giving me a slight sense of satisfaction. The blood left on my skin began to disappear, not leaving any discolouration on my skin or trace that blood was even there. That can be tricky though. If it's not my blood, it either doesn't 'go back into my skin' as quickly or just stays on the surface until it gets washed off.
Trigger ended. This was hard to write without feeling it. I'm almost 1 year clean❤️
I looked in the mirror and admired everything I saw on myself... momentarily of course. The rap at the door got the typical growling response out of me before I plastered on that fake smile again.
I opened the door and there stood my mom. She frowned and I proceeded to walk past her, dropping my smile. She surveyed me and asked if I was alright. And she probably took my sarcastic chuckle for a yes. But I don't care what it was interpreted as.
I just kept walking back to the room and retrieved my purse before anyone asked questions.
I refrained from responding to anyone on the ride home and, instead I locked my room door when I got into the villa. I picked up a pillow, holding it as tightly to my face as possible and screamed. It was more of a normal scream to my surprise, but I could practically hear silence after the six-second long vocal exert.
But that took a twist. (slight trigger, sounding like bulimia but isn't) ***
Almost immediately after, I felt like I was being choked. I put a hand on my mouth as choking sounds escaped it and instinctively stumbled into the bathroom. I collapsed on my knees and trembling, I put my fingers down my throat in all attempts to regurgitate whatever was making its way up my throat. I removed my fingers as I felt something slightly rough being pushed up my oesophagus. I ignored the concerned voices being sounded at the door because of the light wails escaping my throat as the matter made its way up. *** For the next three minutes that felt like a lifetime, it edged up further into my mouth. Finally, it was at a level where I had to open my mouth wider —than humanly possible— and I moved to the right for it to land in the trash. It was apparently weighty since a thud followed its collision with the plastic-covered trash bin. I exhaled shakily and sniffled, picking up on the putrid scent. Somewhat thick tears began to flow down my face, no matter how many times I blinked it back. I looked intently at the matter in the trash bin before some saliva filled my mouth and I hurled. It partially went into the trash and on the floor when I moved myself to the toilet. This went on for another 3 excruciating minutes. I found myself mumbling 'please stop' as I sat there quivering, feeling like I was about to have a seizure or an attack of some sort. People were still outside trying to convince me to open the door and asking of my state. One would guess that I was being strangulated for the first part. But it's when this door is opened and the smell of flesh burning and rotting, that new questions would arise.
YOU ARE READING
A twist In My life *completed* March 24 2021*sniffle*
Paranormal"You know, to think about all I just said. I'll reiterate some stuff. In the beginning, I wanted help. But there was none. There were glares on me that made me feel disgusted. There was a sudden interest that wasn't there before. There was my- or sh...
Chapter 44
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