Broken

*18*

Mo tried to immerse herself in work but nothing managed to distract her from the impending emotions she felt. Even Ntate Moshe noticed that she was withdrawn and barely said a word to anyone every time she showed up for work.

"Is everything OK, Ms M?" he asked her one day when she was leaving work looking tired. He also couldn't help but notice her fading bruises even though she tried to hide them under her makeup. Mr Makoa had been kind enough to inform them to keep working when she was absent but her absence made everyone uncomfortable.

Mo gave him a weak smile and walked to her car. She was almost there when a man in a hoodie came out of nowhere and stood before her.

"Do not scream," he breathed and Mo, thinking that she was being mugged nodded quickly. "I'm gonna get in the car with you and we're going to talk."

She recognised the voice and stared in shock up at the man. "What do you want?" she trembled when she found her voice.

"The baby...is the baby OK?"

Mo didn't know where the rage came from but all of a sudden she launched herself on Rea with the ferocity of a rabid dog, clawing at his face and any piece of skin she could get her hands on.

"STOP!" Rea yelled as he tried to push her off but she held on, trying to strangle him. He punched her in the face but she didn't let go of his neck-she only squeezed harder. He couldn't breathe and his face was contorted in pain. He was only rescued by a man he knew very well passing by.

"Ms M!" Moshe yelled as he pulled Mo off a dazed Rea.

"LET ME KILL HIM! I WILL GO TO JAIL IF I HAVE TO! LET ME KILL HIM!" Mo was screaming as Rea scrambled up and ran into the darkness.

Moshe had never seen her so enraged. He tried to take her back to her office but she shoved him away and got into her car then drove off in a fury.

As she pulled into her driveway, she only just came to her senses and the pain of her loss washed over her as she walked into her house. She closed the door behind her and slumped to the floor, letting it all out. She hadn't been able to grieve for her baby at all and now the emotions were all over the place.

"Why?" she cried as she put her head in her hands. "I didn't do anything to hurt anyone and now they have deserted me! Everyone I love has deserted me! I did everything right-why did it have to be me? They all left me!"

"We didn't," the familiar deep voice of Tebatso said as his shadow fell over Mo. "We didn't leave you-you pushed us away."

Mo didn't find herself surprised but she stood from the floor and backed away. "Why are you here?" she croaked. "You're just like all of them!"

"You haven't said a word to me in a week and you've been ignoring my texts and my calls. I wanted to be sure that you're OK. Mo, I'm sorry, ok? I wanted to tell you what happened at the hospital but you were a mess and I knew you'd react the exact way you acted when you found out so-"

"You told them to kill my baby," she sniffed as she failed to stop the tears that had been willing in her eyes. "I never got to hold my baby in my arms! That was my first child but I never got to hold her because of you!"

"No! Not because of me! Because of the choice you made in a man! A man who beat you senseless and yet you still went back to him! Yeah, I know all about Rea's shenanigans but because it was not my jurisdiction, I chose not to get involved! It was him who killed your baby and not me! Your baby was never going to make it even if the doctors tried! And I told them to try!"

Mo went weak in the knees and she fell to the floor. Tebatso simply looked at her as she sobbed on the floor. She sniffled. "I did everything the only way I knew how and look at what it cost me! I have nothing! No one! Just get out of my house!"

Tebatso sat beside her on the floor. He felt sorry for her and opened his arms for her. "You still have me. Come here."

Mo was hesitant at first but she finally leaned against him and gazed at him. "Why are you being so nice to me? After all that shit I said?" She wiped away her tears.

"I've been through the same situation-not the pregnancy part but the part where I lost my child. I know what it feels like to blame yourself and feel like everyone else is blaming you-in my case they were." Tebatso rested his cheek on top of Mo's head. "You might not be able to let go now but once you do, you're gonna feel a whole lot better."

"Nurse Mpheng said that," Mo laughed a little. "I never grieved after I lost my baby. I tried to shut it out because I have to be strong but it was eating me up inside. I just wanted to die."

Tebatso smiled. "Me too. I thought I had nothing to live for and almost committed suicide."

Mo shook her head. "It was that bad?"

Tebatso nodded. "I had to see a therapist and here I am today. I had made up my mind about never having children but honestly, you made me change my mind. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and with you, I had the greatest moments of my life. I think I'd like to have a baby some time in the future." He smiled.

Mo looked up at him. "Do you want a drink? I feel like some Absolut. I need some hard stuff."

"Me too," Tebatso laughed as he stood up. "Where do you keep the good stuff?"

"Under the mattress!" Mo laughed as she followed Tebatso to the kitchen.

Two bottles of wine and half a bottle of Absolut. later, the two were laughing hysterically at an old horror movie while seated comfortably on the carpet in the living room.

"You know, CGI has improved quite a lot. Look at that pink blood from the nineties! Like are you kidding me?" Tebatso laughed. "It looks like tomato sauce."

"How did we survive that! It used to be such good quality when we were younger and it was so gory." Mo looked at him as she leaned against her couch.

"It's because it was the best they had to offer and we hadn't seen anything better." Tebatso looked at his watch. "Oh dang! I have to leave. Look at the time-its almost morning."

"You can't leave. None of us is in any fit state to drive. I have a spare room that I was planning to use as the nursery but the bed is still in there. Come on."

Mo led the way and Tebatso immediately plopped onto the bed, squishing his face into the soft blankets.

"This is so comfortable," he mumbled into the blankets. "And the blankets smell nice. Is that StaSoft™?"

Mo sat beside him and he pulled her down beside him, keeping her locked in with his arms around her as she tried to get out of his embrace.

"Let me tell you something," he whispered in a drunken voice. "You're the only person that has never made me regret meeting them so far. I don't ever want to lose you because you are so wonderful, Mo. I mean you can get a bit handful sometimes but you are a good person. Just in case people don't tell you that often. Stop hiding behind this strong independent woman facade and just let yourself be free to be you sometimes. We all need to let loose sometimes just like you did today. I'm proud of you."

Mo snuggled in his arms and his fading cologne lingered close to her nose as she closed her eyes. "I'm proud of me too," she whispered as the warmth radiating from him enveloped her.

Tebatso kissed her on top of her head and pulled her closer, his chin resting on top of her head. "Good night." He closed his eyes and sleep came over him right away.