My Injuries, Your Injuries (Completed)

Chapter 38

So, the end is near. I'm not sure how many chapters are left. I'm thinking MAYBE one after this, depends on how it plays out, and definitely an epilogue.

xoCrashFire

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-one week later

Gerard and I are laying in his bed, not talking. We just got done talking about last week, about how sorry I was about everything I said, about the text, and about his self harm.

He's accepted my apology and is no longer upset with me, which I'm surprised at. I'd still hate me, I acted like a total brat.

The texts; well, it was that guy again. The one from forever ago who was taunting him with his sexuality and suicidal thoughts. He never let me read the text because he said he deleted it, but he told me that it was a decent sized message along the lines of "I can't believe you've made it as long as you have" and "I hope you die and go to hell", just childish stuff like that.

And finally, his self harm. It was something he found out was, according to him, more painful and faster at healing. He would scratch at his arm and break layers of skin, but not enough to bleed. I cringed at the explanation because, I've never been one to deal with pain well. The scratches are healed for the most part now, just little scabs that are almost done healing.

"Gerard," I say quietly, leaning into his embrace.

He leans his head down and kisses the top of mine, "Yes?" He asks.

"When I told you that I love you... I meant it. I wasn't lying so you'd stop being made at me. I really do," I explain, looking up at the end to see his reaction.

He's looking up at the ceiling, a blank look on his face. It's he doesn't want to believe me. He's probably going to tell me that it's too early to say that, or that I'm just a kid and I don't know what love is. Then he looks down at me. "I love you, too."

I drop my jaw and widen my eyes a little, "You're serious?" I know I shouldn't question him on whether he loves me or not, but I don't what happened with me and Jamia to happen. She loved me to death, and maybe still does, but I just wasn't feeling it.

"Dead," he says, smiling down at me. "Love isn't something to lie about. It hurts the person you're with more if it doesn't work out. If I didn't love you, you'd know it." Then I feel like shit for what I did to Jamia. I didn't mean to hurt her, I just... was experimenting and I knew she liked me. When she told me she loved me, I said it back because I wasn't sure what to do. I was never put in that spot before.

"I'm sorry," I say, half to Gerard, half to Jamia, even though she isn't here. I guess I never put any thought into her feelings. I mean, sure she was clingy, over protective, and obsessive, but she meant well. She really loved me and I took her for granted.

"For what?" He asks, sounding confused.

"For not believing you, I guess. I think I just thought that if I didn't make sure you were serious something like what happened between me and Jamia would happen."

"Jamia is your ex-girlfriend, right?" He asks, squinting one eye adorably as he takes a guess.

I nod my head and move a little to get more comfortable. I rest my head on his shoulder and my hand on his stomach, then I sigh deeply.

"What happened?"

I breathe in and start to explain how bad of a person I am. I lead her on. I didn't love her. I used her. "I'm a terrible person," I say, finishing the story.

"You aren't. I mean, yes, you were in the wrong for leading her on like that, but you aren't a terrible person," he responds with. After he finishes, we both just lie there in silence, thinking about what was said.