Regrets

Chapter Thirty-Two: Painful Memories

“Oh wow. They really do look so happy” one of them said. I couldn't think right now, much less tell who it was. They kept talking but I couldn't bear to hear any more. My hands balled up in fists as tears welled up and fell. I was filled with rage and grief and I didn't even think about going out there and kicking that slut until she was covered in nothing but blood. Rey slept with someone else?! The bell rang and the girls cursed as they ran out. I opened the stall numbly and slid down the wall, too overwhelmed to even stand. I curled up and sobbed like the coward who couldn't even satisfy her man.

*****

The bell had rung for lunch but I couldn't even try to move. My tears had long since dried but I was so numb that I couldn't think. I could barely breath. Rey cheated on me. How could I possibly be alright? Suddenly the pointing and whispering made sense. I was still there when Selena burst through. She took a desperate look around the room before her eyes rested on me. She bent down and hugged me.

“I guess you heard” she said sadly.

“Right from the horses' mouth” I said, my voice muffled. I guess I wasn't out of tears cause I cried like a baby in my bestie's arms.

Some time went by before she helped me up.

“Let's go to lunch. You need some food in you” she told me. I flinched. I didn't even want to be in the same room room with him let alone in the same table but I went with it, mainly because she was too stubborn for her own good. We walked in and it seemed to me that everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me. I walked with my head held high. I'd be damned if I let this get to me. Though my head was high and proud, I couldn't keep my lips from trembling.

Selena bought me some of what she considered the best food in the world to cheer me up. Curly fries. I couldn't buy my own food but I knew that this wasn't an act of charity, rather one of bestie love so I refrained from complaining that I didn't need anyone to buy me anything. She put her arm around me in a half hug and sat right by me at our table, blocking Rey from sitting next to me. He frowned but he only shifted to the seat in front of me. One of our other friends, Angel, was sitting next to me. He shot me a friendly smile and returned to having a boy argument with Hugo. I ate my fries slowly though I didn't want to eat. I owed Selena at least enough to eat the fries she bought me. Tears stayed on my eyes, refusing to fall while in public. I couldn't cry in front of these people, especially not Rey. He was the cheating bastard that broke my heart. People were talking around me but I barely noticed. All I could hear was my heart being torn by little demons who were once angels in love with Rey. All I could feel was my heart breaking and the hot burn of tears I refused to let fall. I bit my lip hard to keep from making a pained noise. Rey noticed. Of course he did. He used to be the perfect boyfriend after all.

“What's wrong?” he asked me softly, looking at me so intensely that it made me feel like we were the only people in the world. He tried to hold my hands but I wouldn't let him. I drew away.

“Nothing” I replied in the shakiest voice in history. He was concerned, it was obvious, but he knew me enough to know when to leave me alone. I looked at him with a critical eye. How could he possibly not know what was bothering me? He screwed some other chick! I completely ignored him the rest of the day. I knew it was hurting him but he hurt me first. I could feel my heart breaking even more every time I saw his confused, slightly scared, and upset face. He looked so sweet. It hurt not to feel the all consuming love for him.

I was so done. From every kid's mouth I've been hearing about the party. From every kid's eyes I've been seeing the pity. I could safely say that this was the worst day of my life. I was walking down the hall but was suddenly pulled into an empty room. I opened my mouth to scream but stopped when I saw who it was. Hugo.

“I'm so sorry about what happened at the party” he blurted, “I didn't know he would cheat on you”

I felt my eyes prickle with tears again.

“Yeah, I didn't either” I left him in that room with his guilty conscience.

I walked out in the rainy day, how appropriate!, to see Rey waiting outside of his car, looking for me worriedly. I snorted. Even when he cheats he's considerate. I slid in without a single word. He drove home, stealing increasingly panicked looks at me.

Finally, we got home. I got out and slammed the door. I heard him turn off his car and run after me just as I got inside my house. I tried to slam it in his face but he was too fast. I backed up away from him.

“I guess you heard about the party” he said sheepishly. I slapped him. Hard. His head whipped to the side and he held a hand to his quickly reddening cheek. I breathed hard with pent up fury. He turned to look at me with wounded eyes but I didn't stop there. I sucker punched him. He let me.

“Are you done?” he wheezed. I cracked my knuckles.

“You wish” I tackled him, landing blows wherever and whenever I could. He didn't fight me back but he did try to defend himself. Finally he managed to stop me but straddling me and holding my hands in one fist while holding my head away from his. I panted hard as did he. I looked up at him.

“Stop it” he growled at me. I couldn't help it. I burst into tears. He let me go and unwillingly, I hugged him close while I cried my heart out. He'd been a source of love and comfort for so long that I couldn't help myself. I sobbed in his arms while he soothed me, even if he was the reason I was so upset in the first place. We had our first big fight that night. Him insisting he didn't do it while I rebutted with the fact that there were first witness accounts going around all over school. How could he deny that? I even heard it from the whore he screwed! Eventually he gave up. He was sitting on a chair at this point. I was standing, hugging my waist and thinking that we couldn't make it past this.

“I can't believe I trusted you with my heart” I whispered. He let out a cry of his own, tears having been falling steadily by now. From that day on I learned to love him again but there was a notable difference. I trusted him with my life but not my heart. Never again would that happen and on some level, I think he knows it too.

What are you thinking? Tell me! Comment! Please! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AT THIS MOMENT (even if it's that your hungry and want some lunch)! :D  Hope you liked it!