TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 42: Hippie Chics Can't Go Home Again

Time to see how Ash is doing in her role as Cam's caretaker.

The song, I Loved You First by Joan, is how Cam feels in this chapter, not so much Ashlynn...

Ashlynn

Within just a few hours, it's like my life has completely changed.

Once again.

Cameron is very sick and soon, I am holding my breath, dying with each of his heaves as I sit on the side of the bathtub. It seems I can only breathe in his moments of relief. He's stopped asking me to go away. I can't. He seems so urgently ill, I'm afraid he might pass out and choke on his own vomit. So I just abide with him across the room because I know from years of experiences—from football-related concussions and occasional hangovers and a bout of the flu I nursed him through his freshman year of college—that when Cam is sick like this, he can't bear to be touched.

Mostly I leave him alone, only intervening with a fresh cloth or some water to rinse his mouth when he seems like he has a few minutes of recovery. The heaving returns in spurts for hours. He's unwilling to move back to the bed, so my mom brings a couple of old quilts and I try to make him more comfortable as he alternately lies on the bathroom floor and grasps the toilet.

Occasionally, he lies quietly for ten, maybe fifteen minutes at a time. I've been receiving texts from Leed, Kat, Mac, and Trace all evening, and in these moments where I think Cam is sleeping, I read them and reply.

Leed's are sweet, funny, encouraging and inquiring, but not very serious, which I really appreciate. Leed is the most instinctual person I've ever met, and he knows perfectly how to act in this situation where no one could possibly know how to behave. He's supporting me and loving me with warm words, not complaining about our separation or over-worrying about my health or about the status of our relationship.

But apparently he's communicated with the whole gang about Cam's situation, and their responses are exactly the opposite.

Kat's paragraphs of texts are punctuated with emoji's of horror and disbelief and hearts and praying hands and warnings not to fall in pity-love with Cam because even though Cam is super nice and wonderful, Leed is both way sexier and much more fun. She warns me to think of her, because she can not handle dealing with Leed on the rebound. Plus, she really needs me to stay focused on our complete decimation of these two rock stars so that we can have a double wedding some day.

I reply to my sister than I'm glad she understands her needs and her wedding fantasies are paramount in this situation, and she responds:

STFU.

Tell Cam I love him.

But do not hug him for me.

Do not hug him at all.

Trace's texts demand that I call him as soon as I get a chance, but I'm planning to ignore that. I don't feel like giving Trace the opportunity to try to talk me out of taking care of Cam, which is exactly what I know he will do. Trace does not find forgiveness easily—not for his own father and not for Cam, whom he will tell me Cam abandoned me when I needed him most. But this is exactly why I don't want to talk to Trace. I don't want to start old fights, and I'm resolved in what I'm going to do anyway.

Adam sends a group text to Mac and I that is simple and straight to the point:

Adam: 

All Heartley's are praying for Cam.

I text back:

Thank you for the prayers.

Mac: