Chapter 4

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February 12, 2023

I woke up to Harley laying on my chest and he hair in my mouth. I'm other words I woke up choking. I quickly say up and moved Harley off of me and next to me. I grab Anya's notebook and begin reading.

Dear Diary,
  Sorry for not writing since September but I've been to tired to do anything and too numb. Today I started coughing up full ass flowers. I'm scared. The flowers are coming up with thorns and flesh. It started happening after I talked to Conner about what was wrong with me. He never usually doesn't listen or read the messages but this time he did. He asked who but I didn't tell him. I ignored his questions every time he asked me but it hurts. I want him so bad but he doesn't want me. God, I can't wait to get rid of this. I'll have the surgery in two weeks. If it fails then I'll die. Hopefully I'll live. If not then I'll write a letter to everyone apologizing. Anywho mom says I have to go so good bye!!

- Anya
January 29th 2020

I remember those months, she didn't talk no matter what, every once in a while she said 'hi' or 'I'm don't but other than that she didn't talk. I almost didn't talk to her for a while but she explained why so I forgave her. She didn't talk because every time she did flowers would come up in her throat. I wish she never got the disease, we all lost her because of it. We all miss her. One day we'll see her again but I had promised her, I promised to never leave her and that's what I'm going to do. I'll always remember her until the day I die.

I remember the Christmas before she died. She had put together a Secret Santa. It was cool. She had bought everyone a gift even though she only had one person to give a gift too. Though she gave them extra gifts. She had given me like three BNHA hoodies and some drawing paper. The others gave me pencils, pens and markers. I can't remember much but I remember Anya hugged me for the first time. It's like she knew she was gonna die. She gave all of us a hug even Harley, even though they Harley knew each other. She never hugged us and we were all confused but we hugged her back none the less. 

I feel the bed shift as Harley wakes up. She sits up and I push her hair out of her face.

"Morning Baby."

" Morning Michael. "

"What do you want for breakfast?" I ask her getting up out of bed.

"Sausage in the middle of a pancake with French toast." She says laying back down. I mean down and kiss her head before leaving to the kitchen.

After I finish breakfast and bring it to Harley and tell her to wake back up.

"I don't wanna."

" if you don't eat I won't drive you to Patience's house. " At this Harley sits up and grabs a plate. When she finishes her food she gets out of bed and gets dressed for the day. She does her makeup despite me telling her she looks beautiful without it, but my opinion doesn't matter unless she asks. I let her finish getting ready before getting dressed myself. By 2:00 we head out and head into Shreveport.

We stop by a Starbucks to grab coffee and to pick up Patience. Our first stop is the mall. I regret agreeing to go with Harley and Patience every weekend to do some shopping. It used to be a giant group thing so see all stayed in touch. Anya, Yasmin, Patience, Autumn, Conner, Harley and I went to the mall. We split up into groups. The Vscos and then the others. So Yasmin, Pat and Harley went to their stores while Conner, Anya, Autumn and I went to Hot Topic and Game Stop. We also went to Claire's because Anya wanted earrings and gloves and Autumn wanted random shit. We occasionally went to Spencer's and went in the back. I remember one year Anya went in the back and bought, something that I will not say, for Keira and my god we never let her back there by herself ever again.

After Anya died the others only came every once in a while. Anya kept us together. Now when the others do their shopping we head to Hot Topic, Game Stop, Sephora and Forever 21.

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After hours of shopping the girls were finally done. We dropped Patience at her house and I dropped Harley at her house. I went home and went to bed.

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A/N: If you wanna know what Anya bought pm me and I'll tell you. She bought it to scare people cuz it's fun.

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