Irreconcilable

Father

"My home is lovely. I couldn't ask for better parents, we all just love each other so much!" I say much to the satisfaction of my preacher and church family. It's been a long day. My church has a cookout every other Monday. With school being a reck and my home even worse coming to this of all things is icing on the cake.

"That's perfect my child!" Preacher Davis says patting my golden locks. Little does he know at home it is quite the opposite. I just smile back really being done with this conversation and today in general.

"Father Davis," my mother says when she noticed his hand lingering on my shoulder, "wouldn't it be just marvelous if next Sunday we, well maybe we should talk more privately and let everyone be surprised?" I go to roll my eyes but notice my father is watching me. I turn my head not wanting to look at him and challenge him.

"Well okay! As my unofficial planner I always have time to hear you out darling!" He says a bit to happily.

"That little perv," someone mutters behind me. I think I know who it is but I keep my head down still. My father looks around to see who said that as the two walk away, not to talk about planning but to go and have sex surely. My mom is know for at least having sex with every man at the church multiple times, especially with our pastor.

"So," oh no, "Adrian," please god it's has already been a horrible day. "We can all see that concealer on your face, you fag."  The word lingers in the air between us, me still facing forward and him slumping beside me. I don't dare move a muscle. "Come on little boy do somethin I know you wanna,"

"Ron!?...RON ? Where are you!" Thank you Jessie, any other time I would hate her but she saved me this time. Only God knows what he would have done to me.

"You just got very unlucky," I look over at him fearfully, my shaky eyes wide open, "next time I see you imma fuckin beat you and make you repent for your faggot ways." He roughly elbows me and walks away to go and find his girlfriend Jessie.

After a few hours my dad gets bored and wants to leave.

"Well we must be going with school tomorrow and homework he still hasn't done. We just unfortunately have to go home." I look at him surprised but nod along with him.

"School is very important make sure you do well and get all A's!" Pastor Davis says looking me up and down. "For a young man as smart and talented as you are I would hope you have a strong Christian college to go to!"

"Oh Father I can assure you that we already have a few in mind," my mom gives me a small smile, "all in state as well! He must be close to home. Or we would lose our minds without him."

"Well Father we will be seeing you around! Bye now!" My Dad gives a wave and stiff nod to everyone and we leave.

•••

The car ride felt long and awkward. It's only a 10 minute drive from the picnic area to our home but the tension between my mother and father filled the air and made me feel suffocated. My dad knew, my mom knew that he knew, and I knew that we all know what's going to happen when we get home. May my prayers help me.

When we walked inside my father immediately went to get a drink. I remember asking my mom a few times why my dad always waited to drink at home and she would always say 'You can't drink in front of our Church people! Oh the things everyone would say!' Then she made me wash up and go to bed.

I now don't ask questions about my fathers drinking habits and I try to get to my bathroom before he says anything to stop me. However tonight like many other long days leads into an even rougher night.

"Where do you think you are going boy" he spits at me. I turn towards him my gaze drops to the floor. "Look me in the eyes like a real man!"

"Oh darling you are forgetting that he's not a man and never will be. He's just a sad little faggot." They laugh together like it's the funniest thing. I just stand there making no movements or words to speak. I try not to flinch when he walks up to me and raises his hand. Unfortunately I'm not successful and do flinch.

"Scared wimpy dyke." He spits at me, knowing tonight's going to be a long one I try to go to my happy place while they joke around and hit me.

•••

After they leave me in a mess on the floor I try to pull myself up. Everything hurts. Tonight I just want to sleep forever. After a few try's I finally make it up. I then proceed to drag my self into the other room and up the stairs deciding that I'll wait till morning for my shower, then set my alarm early and fall into a dark dreamless sleep like every other night.

•••

School sucks.
It's lunch and I am in the library reading like every other day. It's not unusual to eat lunch in the library when you're a quiet kid. There's a few of us who would just rather be in here than the messy lunch room. I've never talked to them but they seem cool.

After lunch I take the long way to my 6th period. It's normally almost empty but since Ron vowed revenge yesterday I really should have been expecting him.

"Hey fag," Ron jumps out of a crook in the hall, I turn to go run away but spin right into the chest of three of four goons.

"Pardon me goons I need to get to class so if you wouldn't mind moving." I look up to see Don, Jon, and Con. Like I said goons, strong football goons that is about to beat me into a pulp.

"Oh don't mind them. They are just insurance you stay put and nobody walks over." He smirks and my face falls.

"Let's see who can make you cry first,yeah?" Jon says earning smirks from the group of jocks. Let's see...4 against 1. Not the best odds of me getting away with my already injured self.

Why do I put myself in these predicaments??

They start talking again but it's like there is water in my ears. All I can make out is sound. Excruciating sound. Then con goes at the end of the hall way. The others line up around me. Ron throws the first punch. Right in the jaw, causing me to fall down. Then feet kicking, stepping, and walking all over me as soon as I hit the ground. Not soon after everything goes black.

•••

When I wake up I'm surrounded by garbage and in excruciating pain everywhere. Almost to the point where I can't get up. But I do. And I fall back down because of my spinning head and at least 3 broken ribs.

My 3rd and final attempt to get up I make it to the side of the dumpster and climb out. When my feet hits the ground I fall again weak from the work my sore, broken body just had to do. I just want to go back to sleep and never wake up, but I force myself up. That is when I am finally aware of my surroundings and I start freaking out.

This isn't school?