Chapter 28. An Oblivious Reminder.
I took Sarah out to a fancy breakfast, well as fancy as a morning restaurant could get in rainy, dreary Mullingar Ireland . I downed all my thoughts and apathetically turned them into a positive one. All morning I felt disconnected with Sarah, like I was doing something seriously wrong. I was moody, cranky, and even hostile towards her.
“What’s up with you today, you our yourself Nialler” She stated bluntly.
“What do you mean?” I asked turning my head to face her. We were both sitting in her parent’s living room. She was folding towels and watching T.v. I on the other hand was just strumming notes on my guitar, deeply in thought.
“Like, your just really annoyed, and crabby. Are you okay?” She looked at me concerned.
My mind went on hold, waiting for the oxygen to reach every brain cell and circulate my answers to my voice.
“I’m okay, I guess I’m just in one of those bad moods.” I answered as my palms slid on my jeans from my nervousness.
“I hope so, were going to your Mom’s in a couple of days.” Sarah Stated folding up the last towel from the hamper.
“Yeah, I know. I think it’s the weather.” I blamed my crabbiness on the innocent raindrops pelting the window.
“Could be.” She stepped up the stairs putting the freshly dried towels in the closet.
I continued strumming a song that I couldn’t put a name on yet. I couldn’t believe this is bothering me this much. I don’t understand it, Delilah is somewhere in London, unrecognizable, I’m sure. As for Benjamin, He’s hanging with the angles, waiting for his Daddy. I felt my heart sink a bit, we didn’t even get to know if it was a boy or girl. We settled for a boy for the plaques name sitting outside Delilah’s house. If it was a girl her name would have been Arolynn Lesley, her Mother’s middle name was Lesley. Benjamin James took after me, I imagined what my baby boy would look like. Tall, like his mother, blonde hair with blue green eyes combining Delilah’s and mine. He would love soccer and grow up to be a big time star. Even though I hadn’t even met my son, I loved to picture what he might have been like. I wouldn’t care if he loved books and wanted to be a marine biologist, he would still be my son and I would love him unconditionally. If my child would have been a girl, I picture a little petite red head with beaming blue eyes and every time you would look into them, your heart would stop at their beauty. Arolynn would love to draw and paint, sometimes she would pretend she was an artist with her paper plate decorating all the colors of the rainbow spotting it. I also pretended she had iridescent colored tutu on and unmatched green shirt stained with markers, paints, pastels, and anything that could possibly get on her shirt while she was in the mind set of an artist. I loved both of them before they even got to breath. Who cares even if it was an accident, those were my kids, boy or girl I loved them to the moon and back. My heart stung with pain and my eyes burned with tears as I stepped out of the warm air of the house to the brisk atmosphere of the outside weather. I told Sarah I would be back in about an hour, I needed to get out and clear my head. I slowly started to regain every detail about that fateful night before Ben or Arolynn got a taste of life.
~Flashback~
“Niall, wake up!” Delila shook me awake.
“Mhm” I mumbled still quit a bit asleep.
“I am bleeding” She sounded weak.
“What?” I pulled my self up in panic.
“Yeah, look” She pointed to the sheets where she had been sleeping.
“Oh honey. We need to take you to the hospital.” I took action by getting clothes, a snack, and a blanket.
“Babe I’m scared” She told me cuddling closer to me as I drove.
“Are you in pain” I asked a tad fear ridden too.
“No, just scared. I hope it’s alright” Delilah patted her stomach worriedly. A little bump had finally appeared and was now visable this past week. The band mates and I let me take out the next two months to prepare for the baby, God Bless them. I glanced down at her tummy unwilling, sparing myself a few seconds from the road.
“It will be okay Sweetheart. I promise” I reassured her.
--
After about four or five test, the doctor finally came back with the results. He walked through the entrance rubbing his eyes, he sat down the clip board on the stand next to the bed Delilah was laying. I studied his body language trying to desirer whether or not this is good or bad news. He took a seat and took a deep breath.
“I regret to inform you, you had a miscarriage Ms. Ruther. The baby died.” He sympathetically looked our way waiting for our reactions.
At first I just kind of took it in, waiting for this patronizing news to finally sink reality into my brain. I couldn’t help but turn around to let a couple of stray tears slip away unnoticed. I grabbed Delilah’s hand and she let out a long hard cry. This cry was something I haven’t experienced before, this was just unbearable. It had, serious self deprecating, and totaled every morsel of happiness and marred it into utter oblivious. My heart was under a forceful depressed feeling and having your heart infuriated by the fact your son or daughter die right under your nose and their was absolutely nothing you could do, just put me at overwhelming stage of unhappiness.
~Flashback Over~
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I AM SO EFFING SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I HAVE HAD SO MUCH GOING ON FROM HOMECOMING TO BIG TESTS TO STUDY FOR. I PROMISE I WILL BE BETTER ABOUT THIS. ANY WAYYYYYY.... STAY TUNED TOMORROW NIGHT.
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"Good Luck!" Wasn't Supposed To Mean Forever.(Niall Horan) -Completed
Fanfiction'I finally learned to let go of my past and look forward to the future as it was still looming in front of me no matter how many times I try to avoid the 'moving on' part.' Sarah thought as she curled up into a ball beneath her blankets blocking out...
