Beneath The Skin (Twin Peaks, #1)

33 | Secrets

"Why? Afraid?" I arched my brow as I focused my gaze on him. Truly, I was only pushing him in hopes of angering him. If I could make him angry then I knew that we would be back in familiar territory. He wouldn't want to be around me and I would be safe.

"Only of what you will think of me once you know the truth."  

Curiosity surged at his words but I didn't say anything. When had he started to care what I thought about him? I could still remember when he told me that we would never be friends. Now, here we were and I didn't know what to call us.

Friends didn't seem fitting, and lovers would be foolish. Whatever we were, there was no name for it. All I could say was that we were bound together somehow. From the moment we met, a force beyond my understanding had been pulling us to each other, weaving our fates together.

I turned my face away from him, watching as we passed the familiar shops and businesses. Everything was exactly as it had been, but looking at it now it seemed different. Maybe it was because I was different. I knew the truth of myself - someone had offered me a peek behind the curtain and I hadn't refused. Perhaps I should have. 

I supposed it didn't matter now. I couldn't change what had happened no more than I could change what was going to happen. We had prepared for the future as much as was possible. It wasn't long before we were pulling into the driveway. He parked the car outside of the house, killing the engine. We both sat together in silence. I'm not sure for how long we sat, listening to each other breathe before Cal decided to speak.

Though they were words I had expected to hear.

"I killed my father."

A sane person would have been scared, jumped from the car - called the police. There was no good reason for a murderer to share that secret with someone unless they intended something for the listener. But I wasn't afraid. I wasn't shocked. My heart beat normally in my chest.

If Cal had killed his father than I knew he had a good reason. Because in all the time we had spent together I had learned Cal, as grumpy and demanding as he was, he was not a bad person. So, I sat quietly and waited for the explanation I knew he was going to give me.

"Growing up in his house was a nightmare. He liked things a very particular way and when anyone challenged that order - well, let's just say he had a temper not easily matched. The only thing that made my childhood bearable was my sister."

I had known he wasn't an only child because of Roxanne. But neither he nor his cousin had ever mentioned or talked about the woman.

"I used to run off a lot as a kid when things got bad, but I always came back. Because of her. She was a ray of light in the darkness and I didn't want him to ruin her the way he had me. But when highschool ended, I left. I picked a college far away from this place and forgot about it - beyond a couple of phone calls here and there."

"I thought she would be okay. She wasn't a kid anymore. She was strong enough - smart enough to make it without me. We talked about her joining me when she graduated."

A tear slipped from the corner of his eye and rolled down the side of his face. It broke my heart to see the pain written on his beautiful face. I unbuckled myself and shifted in the seat, bringing myself closer to him. But I didn't touch him. I didn't think he'd want that.

"Mara called me one night and said that suspected something bad was happening to my sister, but she wouldn't tell me what. So, I came home immediately. And I found her --" His voice broke, and he swallowed a sob.

"He had been keeping her like an animal," Cal said through clenched teeth, eyes staring out at the house as tears flowed down his face. "Chained her up in the basement. She was nearly dead and completely out of her mind - she didn't recognize me at all. The last moments of her life were dark, desperate, and confused."

The scratch marks I had found in the basement. My stomach churned with horror and disgust. "Why would someone do that? To their own child, no less?"

"Apparently my father believed it was just punishment for her loose behavior. You see, she'd gotten pregnant. Thankfully, he saw opportunity in Roxanne or else I'm sure he would have killed her."

"Oh, Cal." My vision grew blurry. I blinked away the urge to cry. What tragedy he had known in his life. All this time he had carried around the weight of these things. The world had judged him unfairly and so had I.

"So I killed him for what he had done to my sister. Gutted him in his bed while he slept. I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn't. The next day, I took Roxanne to my cousin. Forfeited my title to Bradford and left Twin Peaks without the intention of ever returning."

"But you did return."

"Yes. I did. To keep an eye on Roxanne." Cal turned to me, eyes bloodshot and face stained from his tears. And I saw him clearer than I had ever seen another person. Everything about him clicked into place. My feelings for him, they were certain. As much as I pushed against them I would never be able to change them.

"Are you afraid of me now?"

I shook my head. "Why should I be?"

His brows lifted. "Because I just told you I killed a man. Rather violently."

"And he was a violent man who deserved to die," I said. I was glad that his father was dead. I was only sorry that Cal had been forced to carry around this darkness and pain because of it.

He shook his head in disbelief. "How can you--"

I lifted my hand and pressed my finger to his lips, silencing him. "You're the same man that rescued me from the Vanderville house. The same man who saved my sister - not once, but twice. You're the same man who has been trying to save a town full of people who hate and fear him."

I pulled my hand back and pressed to his chest, above his heart. It thumped like a wild thing. A smile tugged at my lips. "You are a good man, Callum Wolfe. Despite what you might think."

He stared down at me. There was more than desire in his eyes. This was nothing like the passion I had felt the first time we kissed. That was superficial compared to what swelled in my chest. Slowly, he lifted his hand and placed it to my cheek. God, the feel of his touch. It turned my skin to lightening.

"I should probably go." His thumb traced the corner of my mouth. "Don't want to overstay my welcome."

"What if I told you to stay?" I leaned into his touch.

"What would Mary-Beth think?"

I gave him a small smile. "I think she'll be okay one more day with your cousin."

His gaze was unwavering. The intensity of it only fanned the flames of desire that had begun to burn inside me. "Are you sure?"

A soft chuckle fell from my lips as I pulled away from him. "Come on. It's warmer inside." 

I got out of the car and started walking toward the front door. There was still a fear of what I was and what might happen if things went badly, but I wanted to be present in this moment. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life running away from the things that scared me. 

I glanced back over my shoulder at the sound of his car door slamming shut. Cal met my gaze and I knew - everything had changed. There was no going back from this point. But I trusted him. Surprisingly, I had always trusted him. I watched as his long, confident strides ate the distance between us. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. My long constricted as I tried to maintain composure as he brought his face nearer to mine. 

"I'm never going to leave you alone." He whispered a breath away from my lips. It was hard to know if it was a warning or a promise. I didn't care either way. In fact, I had be counting on that.  He didn't wait for my answer before he sealed our fates with a kiss that shattered my world and put back together all at once.