35. Protect Them

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The next day

I made woken up to a call from my father.
I was going to wake up and answer it when the call ended and I saw that I had 4 missed calls from him and a voicemail from my mom.

I rushed to grab my phone and head out of the room to answer it so I wouldn't bother Zak.

"Y/N" he said panicking.

"Uh yea what happened?" I asked confused.

"Your mother passed away" he said quickly but in the moment felt so slow and I felt as if time had stop.

I felt the world stop for a second or what felt like a minute.
I was speechless and had nothing to say.

"What?!" Is what came out of my mouth.
"How?" I began to question.

"She had a heart attack and passed away this morning" he said with a shaky tone.

My throat started to get a prickly sensation and I started to choke up on my words.

'This can't be real' I thought to myself.

"Wait but I have a voicemail from her" I explained confused.

"You should listen to it" he said.
"Ok" I said as I hung up.

Before opening the voicemail I took a deep breath.

"Y/n" I heard her say as she was struggling.
"I've been having heart attacks recently and .... i..-I'm sorry to say that I don't think I'm going to make it..... I love you so much but the way things are it doesn't look like there's really a future for me past this. My heart is very unstable right now..... I'm sorry, I won't be able to see your children, I won't see you walk down the isle and get married to become a bride. ..... y/n I love you so much..... I don't want to die.. but.. I can't just feel it, and I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. So y/n.. this is my goodbye. I'll always be with you."

And with that the voicemail ended and there was tears streaming down my face.

I tried to muffle my crying by placing a hand over my mouth. I leaned against the wall and fell down.
My head was in my hands and I was in a ball.

"Y/n?!" Zak asked in a sleepy voice.
I looked up at him and he had saw my tears.

His expression dropped.

"Come here" he said helping me up.

He held me.

I cried into his shirt and he rubbed my back.

"Shh it's ok" he said holding me tight.

"What happened?" He asked pulling away and looking at me.

I wiped my tears with my shirt and looked at him.

"My mom.... uh passed away" I said sniffling.
He looked at me and pulled me in for another hug.

"I feel so guilty" I cried.
"Why?" He asked.
"She called me before he passed and I didn't answer" I said.

"Look it's ok, stuff happens and sometimes you just can't prevent it" he rubbed my back.
I just hugged him back.

I felt so much anger and sadness for myself. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry and I just want to punch something.

I felt like I ran out of time.

I felt so much pressure on myself.

I wasn't there when she passed.

All I have is this fucking voicemail from her.

She was gone and I wasn't even there.

"I just need time to myself" I said backing away from zak.

"I'll be back soon" I placed a hand on his cheek.

I could tell in his face he wanted me me to stay but he really couldn't make me.

I walked downstairs and got in the car and started it.

I decided to go to the park or just somewhere away from buildings and just somewhere to reflect.

I had parked the car and got out.
I was walking around and had noticed no one around me.

'Strange' I thought to myself.

I looked down at my belly and rubbed my hand over it.

Flash back.

*y/n the age of 4*

"Mommy what's this?" I asked holding up a black and white picture of a baby in the womb.
"Oh that's you" she said smiling looking at the picture.
"Is this one me too?" I asked.
"Oh no that's your twin sister" she explained.
"Where is she?" I asked.
"Well she uhm .. she is in a better place" she said.

There was more in the box and somethings caught my eyes.

"OOO MOMMY LOOK A BUTTERFLY" I said holding up a purple butterfly.

"Oh be careful with that" she grabbed it gently.

"What's that for" I asked.

"I don't know if your going to understand since your so little but, when you were in my belly you had another sister in there with you, and when mommy gave birth to you your sister didn't come with you, she went to heaven, and the hospital but this little butterfly on your crib" she explained.

-end of flashback-

"Holy-" I said as I didn't realize all this until now.

The thought of it made me scared.

'What if this happens to me?' I thought to myself.

'No no no stop it' I thought to myself.

I took a deep breath and sat down at a bench.

'I should get back to the house' I checked the time on my phone.

'It's ok guys I'll protect you' I thought rubbing my belly.

I got up and started to walk back to the car.

"Hey y/n" I heard a familiar voice that had made my heart drop.

I turned around and had a shocked expression on my face.

"This cant be real" I covered my mouth taking a step back.

It was my ex.
I had no time to question how he was here or anything.
He knew what I did to him last time and I was ready to fight for my life to protect myself, to protect them.

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Word count: 1009

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