If You Could See Me

18

I've been training with the man from the bus, who I would later find out his name is Clint Reese. It's been a month, the first day of training was a wreck. There were muscles I was sore in, that I didn't know could be. I didn't want to get up at 4:30 the next day to do 100 meters, I wasn't ready for any of it. I contemplated giving up. I'm now in my first month of training with Clint. I've been running 100s, 200s, to 800s. Working on intervals, I mean there were drills I have never done that were introduce to me. I feel so much better then I was a month ago. I feel fit and ready. As I am right now, at the end of my session. This man is invested in me, and I don't have to pay. He just believes in me fully, just wants to part of my journey.

I'm walking to the equipment room, putting the bag of soccer balls down, and things we used into their proper storing. I lock door and walk to the bleachers. I take off my shin guards and cleats, and put them in my bag and pull out my slides. Once their own, I just relax and take in the atmosphere. I see him walk over and sit by me. We look at the clean cut field, goal posts with nets. We even tried fixing the bleachers.

"Can you see it?"

I look at him confused, what is he asking me.

"Can you hear it?"

"What?" I ask him as he looks out to the field. Is this man okay?

"Do you see the crowd? Do you hear the cheers? Because if you don't,  you aren't there yet" he tells me finally meeting my eyes.

"Do you visualize the agility of the goalkeeper moving side to side where the ball goes? Do you see the tackles from behind? The art the forward creates as he dribbles the ball around defenders? Do you see the cut green turf?" He keeps asking. As I stare at the field, I start to imagine players on the field passing through 50/50 balls, crosses perfectly, creativity.

"Now imagine a loss in the biggest stage of football" he tells me, and I picture a player down on his knees crying. All of a sudden I become emotional. It's such a sad feeling, when you see someone who worked hard to get to the very moment and fail. It hits me.

"It's okay to fail, its okay to fall. You learn from mistakes, you learn. You have to get back up, tighten your ponytail. You get on with life until you come back again. You are not a complete player, but I will make sure whether it's 5 years or 10. I will be here until you are the best player in the world, and until then. It starts with you believing in yourself."

Time skip (1 week later)

"You're finally home." Julie tells me as I put my bag down and put the keys on the counter. I walk over to the couch and sit next to her.

"I'm not tired, is that weird?" I ask her, and she looks at me with a playful judgemental look.

"You aren't human but you do stink" she tells me pinching her nose. Julie is officially my sister from another Mister and Mrs.

Besides my mom, brother and Christen. She's become part of the list of my biggest supporters. My best friends from back home, haven't contacted me in such a long time. We've fallen apart, but when I see them on social media posting pictures or anything. I give a like. I don't want their attention, I just want them to know that I'll be there when they need me. They can walk out of my life, that's fine. It doesn't change what road I'm going through. Someone that I don't remember once said "Success is very lonely road", and I've never been more fine with that. Loneliness is brutal but I'm willing to be the best I can be.

"So I was told by a little birdie, you might get a special call. From who? Don't know." She tells me breaking me out my thoughts and from staring at the naked white wall.