If You Could See Me

10

"I was 4 when I started playing soccer. It was a coed little league I played in. There wasn't any girls team. Hardly any girls wanted to play soccer. So I had to play in a boys club team until I was 16. Sophomore year they budgeted and started up a girls team in our school. " I tell the interviewer in front of me and a camera. I signed with Chicago a 30 mins ago, and they want to make a article on me. The signing was private, I didn't want anything fancy. Just with my family and my close friends. I'll be finishing up school in Chicago by homeschooling. Since I'm 18, I can live on my own in Chicago. I don't want to leave my mom by herself but I can't ask her to leave all she has here to go with me.

"Was this a hard decision?" The interviewer asks me as she writes down something on her pad.

"Absolutely, it's not easy to leave my family and my friends to a state that is almost 1,500 miles away from home. To be on my own." I respond to her as I play with my fingers. This is new for me, I don't do interviews. I never like to talk about me to others like this. I'm a closed book.

"Did you want to pursue college first before ever thinking of going Pro?"

"That was definitely my first option before I was even given the chance to try out for a professional league. I wanted to attend UNC or Florida Gators. I'm most definitely going Pro" I tell her and after a while of different questions they wrap it up. I walk around the venue where my family is. I see them waiting at a table smiling and talking with each other. My grandparents came to the signing, I'm pretty glad to see them. They live on the otherside of Florida. They took the time to come. My grandpa reminds me so much of my dad. I look at him, and I see my dad. Which is making me more emotional then I should be. I wanted nothing more then my dad to be here, I wish there was a way I could thank him.

"Can uh we go home?" I interrupt them, not in a rude way. I just really want to go home,  my mom gives me a concern look.

"Yeah sweetie we can go" my grandma tells me. They get up and I walk to the Chicago Redstars representatives and I bid goodbye and thank yous. We drive home. I'm quit the entire ride. I'm happy I'm going pro, I am. I just wish I was celebrating it with my dad too. When we get home. I hug my grandparents before I go up to my room. They'll be staying overnight but I do it because I know I'm not coming out of my room anytime soon. Before I go up to my room, my grandpa stops me.

"Come here Dash" My grandpa calls for me. He calls me Dash since I'm fast. He's been calling me that since I could kick a ball.

"He knows" he tells me with teary eyes. In that moment I just start to cry too. I run to his arms and he hugs me tight as we share a couple of tears. "You haven't visited him since the funeral, do you want to make a trip?" He asks me trying to catch his breath a little. I nod and I wipe my face. We walk to the front door and he grabs the car keys. We get in the car, he drives to the cemetery. We walk to my dads gravestone. I sit down and talk to him for a while. I tell him everything, and it felt good saying it. After a while we head back home. When we get home, I get straight to my room. I change into shorts, and I strap my shin guards and put my socks on. I grab my cleats and I lace them. I walked down stairs and head to the backyard. I grab a ball on my way out. Any time I get, I need to put in time. I only have tomorrow to appreciate this backyard, a lot of hard work was put out here. Hours and hours of grinding. Sacrificing everything to train. I only get tonight, and I'll be leaving in 2 days. I stay outside until I know I'm done. I'm tired but I know I got more laps on me, I know I can do more shots. I know I can do it. After a few more shots my phone rings, I walk to the table its on. Christens calling me. I answer

"Hey"

"How'd the signing go?" She asks me with excitement in her voice.

"Pretty great" I tell her

"You sound sorta out of breath, are you okay?" She asks me concerned.

"I'm just outside playing" I tell her as I wipe my face with my shirt.

"Blaise it's like 12am over there" she tells me sounding like a mom.

"Then why did you call me" I tell her laughing. She smacks her teeth

"Dang you got me there, I actually didn't expect you to answer" she tells me giggling. Hearing it makes me smile like a total idiot. For the next 10 mins, we just talk. I walk inside, and the house is quiet. I walk upstairs and take off my socks and shin guards. We wrap our talk up, and I go to the bathroom to take a shower. My last day at school is tomorrow, and also my last practice with the team.