Round 3: Sweetes S.I.N. vs Synecdoche

Sub Rosa

Song: Huling Sandali by December Avenue

Team: Sweetest S.I.N

My eyes stay fixated at the calendar on my bedside table. May 27th. My most dreaded day. I sigh and averted my gaze. Nadako ang mata ko sa cellphone kong kanina pang umiilaw. Kinuha ko iyon at bumungad agad sa akin ang 8 missed calls at tatlong messages mula kay Oliver.

Bakit hindi mo sinasagot?

Charles?

Can you come over? I have something to tell you.

Pagak akong tumawa matapos mabasa ang mga mensahe ni Ollie. It's not his usual 'I'm horny-I'd-like-to-fuck' text. And I know for a fact that whatever we have is finally coming to an end. Matagal ko nang hinanda ang sarili ko sa pagdating ng araw na ito. But no matter how many times I readied myself for this, my heart doesn't seem to cooperate. Sabi ko ay hindi ako masasaktan, hindi ako iiyak ngunit wala pa nga pero parang sinasaksak na nang paulit-ulit ang puso ko.

Kahit nanginginig ang aking kamay ay pinilit ko pa ring tumipa.

Be right there. See you, sexy ;)

Bumuntong hininga ako at kahit labag sa aking kalooban ay tumayo ako mula sa aking pagkakahiga. No matter how much I mourn myself to sleep, there's nothing I can do to stop this inevitable.

I face the full body mirror and wipe the unshed tears from my puffy eyes. I straighten up my crumpled clothes. At doon ko lamang napansin na ang suot kong shirt ay s'yang suot ko rin noong una kaming magkita ni Oliver. Kahit hindi ko gusto ay hindi ko maiwasang alalahanin ang tagpong iyon.

We met at Jeremiah's, a discrete gay bar in the city, last year. It was a Friday night and the place was packed with patrons. But despite of this, he stands out like a sore thumb in the crowd. He's giving off a "bottom but top" look. He has the typical angelic face but his lean body behind the plain black shirt and the tight fitting jean he's wearing says otherwise.

But what really caught my attention was the pure and raw confusion marred on his equally gorgeous face. May kung ano sa inosenteng mukha niya ang nagpapasikip sa harap ng pantalon ko.

"Ay closeta!" rinig kong tili ni Brandon sa tabi ko.

I shake my head to disappear any lustful thoughts that crossed my mind. I'm never one to associate myself to the likes of them, closeted gay guys are complicated. Karamihan sa kanila ay madaming dalang problema pagdating sa relasyon. So, I averted my eyes from him. Inaliw ko ang sarili ko at ilang beses din akong nagpabalik-balik sa dance floor. Ngunit kahit anong distraksyon ang gawin ko ay natatagpuan ko pa rin ang sarili kong nakatitig sa kaniya.

I like the way how his body tenses every time someone will try to hit on him. He was so innocent and cute.

Inisang lagok ko ang hawak kong shot ng vodka at buong lakas loob kong tinungo ang table niya.

Bago ko pa siya malapitan ay naunahan na ako ni Butch. Butch has a bad reputation in the community. Bali-balita na dinidroga raw nito ang lahat ng naikakama niya at may pagka-sadista rin.

It only takes me one long stride to reach their spot. Without thinking, I grab his shirt and kissed him. I kissed him in front of Butch, in front of the many gay guys in the bar. Wala na akong pakialam. Ang nasa isip ko lang ay hindi ko hahayaang mapasakamay ng iba ang gwapong estraherong Ito. Maybe it was the alcohol that made me do this shameful act or maybe it was the burning desire I have for him that I cannot contain any longer.