What is there to life if it just loves to fuck you over.
I choose to be a good person.
But it never works out.
I'm still the same bitch who cried herself to sleep no matter what.
Still the same bitch who wonders why she's even alive.
I was a mistake in this world.
I choose to act happy.
I choose to pretend I'm not depressed.
I choose to not be lonely.
Yet i'm lying to myself.
Everyday i look in the mirror and wonder what today is gonna be like.
My girlfriend broke up with me today.
She was my self control.
But now, I have no point to love someone and something.
I chose to try and ignore it.
But I failed.
I'm the one who lies with "I'm fine"
When in reality.
I'm not.
I'm not ok.
Mentally and physically.
I lost my best friend when I was 7.
I lost my next best friend when I moved to flordia last year.
I don't want anyone to love me.
I don't want anyone to care about me.
I don't want anyone to see me.
I don't want anyone to see my lies.
I don't need anyone to help me.
If my life doesn't get better I might just end it all.
Who knows, I may just say one last goodbye.
But... Not today.
I'm gonna do it today.
My life is boring.
My life is stupid.
My life is fucked up.
I don't wish to be here.
I wish I didn't have to feel anything.
My mother doesn't even know why I'm so depressed.
I may just stay home from school tomorrow if it means I can stop loving.
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to even be alive.
Yet here I am.
Void of any true emotion while writing this.
I'm sorry.
