Because Of You

Sent 11/2

Dearests ex-friends,

We went on as dysfunctional friends for the rest of the school year. We would hang out and laugh together, but then you guys would ghost me and leave me to my own terrible thoughts as my self worth got lower and lower. I cried myself to sleep a lot, but you guys didn't know that, did you? Because you never really cared to know a lot about me.

I'm spending way too much on postage, so I shall not write many more letters. It's almost all out and I feel so much better now, but I'm also terrified of a response to be honest. I don't know if it's worse that you guys are reading this or that you are not.

Maybe you guys get together to read and laugh at my letters together. I understand if that's the case.

I found out you guys were screwing each other from one of my old friends. You know, of the other fake friends I dropped to help you guys. She showed me a picture of you kissing at Starbucks. Starbucks was our thing. Why did it have to be there?

Ian, if you didn't like me anymore, I would have understood. It would have hurt less if you would have just told me. I could have supported you guys as a couple.

Or maybe that's a lie. Because us humans are kind of selfish, you know? And you were mine and Zoe, you knew that, but you just didn't care anymore. Had you ever heard of girl code? I mean, you shouldn't date your friend's ex without their permission, let alone their current boyfriend. I mean, what the hell?

I confronted both of you about it and you lied to my face before I showed you the proof. You said it only happened once and said sorry and I believed you because I was so desperate for someone to care about me.

Ian, you took me on a few dates after that and made me feel special. I'm not even going to write down the details because those moments were all lies and that cut deep into my soul to remember because I literally walked in on you guys screwing in my own house when I invited you over so I wouldn't be alone.

I don't get it. Why did you try to lie when I literally saw your naked bodies pressed together?

Remember,
Laila