Blood Moon

part 10

I came to school the next day feeling different. Usually, I hate it, and I reluctantly drag myself to each lesson. But today I feel happy like a weight has been lifted, or at least the load lightened.
I will tell Emily. You know what, I am not afraid of my feelings at all.
My mind had been thinking about what Conner said yesterday. And I found myself thinking about it more and more.
Friends. Could we be more?
And I do I want to risk our friendship for this something more?
Emily has hinted at something else, but was she just being flirty?
Does she actually like me like that?
And do I like her like that?
"Hey Amy," Emily said, dragging me away from my thoughts of her.
"Hiya," I said.
Tell her.
Tell her.
"Emily. I need to tell you something"
God oh God. Why was it hard?
I trusted her. She was my friend.
"I, I."
"Amy are you alright?"
"I'm not, you know. I don't like men"
I managed to blurt out.
She was silent for a minute, trying to understand what I meant. But then it clicked, and the realisation of what I just said, what I had just did hit her, hard.
"Amy. Oh, Amy. I don't like men either" she said, hugging me against her.
I smiled against her, the feeling of her body on mine made me smile more.
All my secrets were hers.
Except by one.
But I felt as though there were thousands she still kept locked away in her mind.
Something about her, she was hiding something.
"So. We are both lesbians" she said smiling.
The term. I had never used that term to describe myself before. But yes. I was a lesbian.
I liked girls.
And that was ok.
It is ok.

"Amy have you heard, there's a blood moon in what a month and a bit," Emily said. We had just had a few lessons, and it was lunch now. I had a chicken salad and a bag of chocolate chips. They were usually cheaper than buying an actual bar of chocolate and you got more for your money.
"Not really, I'm not really into that stuff" the moon was beautiful, and I loved to just look at it when its a clear, cold night. But the magical, mythical properties of the moon didn't really interest me. And I had a weird feeling that's what Emily meant.
"It's cool though. It's the night when the vampires are strongest and humans weakest." She said, a gleam in her eye.
"My God, you're not into that stuff are you. All that vampire lore and tripe."
"You got to admit it's interesting. And I thought you liked horror"
"I do, but vampires have been cruelly taken from horror and thrust into the world of teenage fiction. That which was once a terrifying, undead creature that feasted on human blood is now something my generation seem of dating. They are no longer horror, the only thing scary about them is how bad the books are"
Emily laughed and we sat in silence for a few seconds.
"Emily, you don't believe in vampires do you?"
"Of course not! But stuff like that interests me. " She said.
"Oh, Emily. Are you lying to me? Are you a vampire?"
"Amy of course not!"
I smiled at her. I was just joking, and so was she.
I enjoyed the smiling, but something was wrong. Why, why.
Why can't I have this perfect time?
Because there is something wrong. Emily is not being truthful about something, she is hiding something.
What is she hiding?
I looked into her eyes.
They were so beautiful.
"Emily, you are beautiful. You know"
Emily looked at me and I blushed. In such a short amount of time, I had even ripped from my shell and brought into the light.
"You are beautiful too" she whispered back.
"I just want to stay here forever"
Pretend nothing is wrong.
"Lying in my lap"
I hadn't even realised I had fallen back so that my head rested in her lap.
But when I tried to get up, her hand stopped me.
"Just stay there." She said. Her hand running through my short hair.
Playing with the strands, massaging my scalp.
"Amy, I l-" the bell rang, interrupting her.
I shot up, and we both made out way into school. My scalp feeling cold without her.
Her words left unsaid.
I don't want to even think about what she could've said.
It was so hard already.
I don't know what I'm going to do with these feelings. Where to put them, and if she really wants them.