Soongyu - For All To See

:: Not As It Seems ::

   With another exhale, Seungcheol continued as Soonyoung had kept quiet knowing he needed to hear everything. "Jeonghan meant everything to me and it started interfering with my training. When producers finally questioned me, I came clean. I told them I was in love - the foolish boy I was with hearts in his eyes. At this point, a final selection of recruits were being sorted through and Jeonghan had made it to the final selection. However things didn't go the way I'd have hoped. I had dreamed of Jeonghan and I training together and reaching our goal together. But staff tore all that down."

   The leaders expression darkened and Soonyoung couldn't help but bit hit by a wave of sympathy for the older male. Jihoon was also quite tense beside him and risking a glance in Jihoon's direction confirmed the fact Jihoon was just as upset hearing this story again. His expression dark and unforgiving.

   "I was yelled at and told relationships were forbidden and I was risking my potential career on nothing more than a phase - yeah, they used the phase rhetoric. They demanded I drop all contact with Jeonghan and by the next day, Jeonghan had been contacted to say he wouldn't be joining the agency. I'd ruined his chance at becoming an idol... Or so I'd at least thought at the time. I was devastated... I tried reaching out to Jeonghan despite them telling me not to and he wouldn't return my calls until eventually he blocked me entirely."

   The leader paused briefly, closing his eyes before continuing. "A staff member had overheard me leaving one of my countless voicemails to Jeonghan's phone and I guess he told the producer I was still trying to get in contact with him. I was dragged into their office and scolded. They threatened to drop me from the agency as well, saying I was a liability and that the idol world would never accept me as I was. I broke apart... My whole life had been dedicated to training to be an idol, it was everything I'd ever wanted. So, I did as I was told. I finally deleted all of Jeonghan's contact information and after that I was monitored more strictly. But they weren't done there, they wanted to make an example of me - I was told I wouldn't debut with NU'EST because actions had consequences. I was allowed to feature in a couple of music videos, but that was all."

   Soonyoung was crying again, albeit silently as he simply listened to the story telling of the elder male. Seungcheol's voice held so much pain but his eyes almost looked blank as if he'd already spent far too many nights being upset over what he'd endured to the point his body just no longer reacted to the heartbreak.
   "I learned the hard way that the industry doesn't care about how you feel, they only care about how fans will receive you. No fan will idolize and love an idol that's taken since fans have the dream of being the one the idol falls in love with, after all."

   "Carats would never react negatively towards such a thing... We all know that..." Soonyoung tried to interject, but Jihoon then spoke up as well.

   "Most of them wouldn't react badly, no. But some still would and that's enough for the industry to want to avoid the issue altogether. This is why most companies have contracts forbidding relationships. Idols aren't seen as people; they're seen as merchandise. A selling point. A dream, a fantasy, a concept. That's what we sign up for when wanting to be an idol. Unfortunately it isn't just producing music or performing - it's the whole package. You can't get this life without sacrifice." Jihoon allowed the words to roll of his tongue like a mantra, but his voice was laced with disgust at the invisible chains that restricted idols.

   Sure some idols had gone against contracts and formed relationships; some created large scandals and got dropped by their companies but others seemed to make it work - although not that many. There were both negative and positive reactions from the media and fans no matter which idol it was and although Soonyoung believed in their Carats, he couldn't deny that they would also be divided by a sudden announcement of a relationship from any of the members.