FLYING | Sequel of FALLEN (NaNoWriMo 2022 WINNER)

1.

It was fun to go down to London a few times this summer. I crashed at Sophie's place. It brought so many memories of the time I spent with Ashley in there. I miss him from time to time. He kept me updated about their tour and I told him about the amazing experiences I got to do with Sophie. He was definitely jealous of the Rolling Stones backstage passes I had. I didn't have the chance to meet the legendary band, but I was in a special reserved area with other journalists and members of the press. Now, I know that Lucas is taken care of. That it was hard for him to realise he had such an addiction problem, but he's getting the help he needs. Sophie is really helping him through this. She made that clear last spring that she wouldn't go through this again with him, so either he was getting help or she was leaving him. It's such a testament of his love for her and I made her realise that. It's not always easy to see the bright sides when you are living in this difficult situation, but being on the outside looking in, it was evident for me. I admire them all the more for it. They've really gotten closer.

Now that my brother has woken me and that, now being awake, I don't get aroused by the Marcel fantasy I was dreaming about. I don't feel the need to please myself like I was absentmindedly doing while I was blinded by my dream. It felt so real, because it kind of was. The pleasure was real.

I get up and cover my bare body with the first loose shirt I see. I put on some music and decide it's about time I conclude packing my bags for my book tour. I leave for London in a bit and I won't be back for a few weeks. I made a list of everything I needed, but now that the essentiels are packed, I need to pack some extra things.

I put the mood light and happy with the music I sync to the stereo at the other end of the bedroom. I never really listen to the radio, but I think some heartfelt bright pop can match my current state of mind. I feel bubbly and excited for what this new adventure has in store for me.

I got to my wardrobe and look around. I need a little black dress in case I need to dress up for any occasion, a dinner with a colleague or with anybody important. I need so kinky lingerie... just in case I get an occasion to rebound and move on better. I don't think I want to bury myself into another relationship or hide behind casual sex. It's not me... Actually, I need to find myself again. I thought I finally knew who I was when I was with Marcel, but it was a lie, so was the person I was a lie as well? I need this time apart to figure it out. I deserve and owe it to myself. I need to be by myself, treat myself, and bore myself to really know what matters to me and how to deal with the loneliness. Is writing my safe haven? Is it really what I'm meant to be doing? Or was I just lucky this time around? I really need to figure that out. Anyway, my point about lingerie is that I wear it first and foremost to please myself, because I feel the sexiest in it, not because I want to please somebody else. It's all about me, and that's how I want to live my life for a little while.

When I'm done, and when I think it's a decent hour to be OK to bother my brother, I leave my bedroom to prepare something for breakfast. I realise quickly that my brother is already awake again and already in the kitchen. To my biggest surprise, he not only is in the kitchen, but cooking as well. Unsurprisingly though, he is making a mess of the place. So I get in quietly and look at him at work. I take a seat at the stool in front of the kitchen island and wait for him to turn around to see me, but something keeps his attention forward.

"What is happening in here? Am I still dreaming or is this real?" I joke as he finally acknowledges my presence.