Beyond His Smile

Hey.

My name is Millie. Everyone has a story, and so does James. I'm here to tell you his story. Our story.

It started when I was walking down the unfamiliar hallway, a normal day at my new school.

I was on my way to find my class, when I almost slipped over a piece of paper that was cropped up on the floor. After I regained my balance, my curiosity got the best of me and I picked it up. Slowly I started reading the words that came from a familiar handwriting.

I hate you

I hate you so much.

Why can't you just let me go

Leave me alone

And never come back.

You make me do things

You make me think things

That I don't want to do

And that I don't want to think.

Why do you do it?

Why can't you stop torturing me?

Because as much as you are trying to cover this up

As a way of making me perfect

We both know

This is a way to destroy me.

To the point where I can't take it anymore

To the point where I'll be gone

And all that's left of me

Is you.

My demon.

You destroy me.

My heart skipped a beat. This person has to be going through hell, this person has to be fighting a battle so hard.

Tears prickled behind my eyelids as I took a few deep breaths. This poem pierced straight through my heart. My brother killed himself a little bit over one year ago. I didn't know how he really felt until I found his suicide note in his room. If only I knew he was fighting that battle, then maybe I could've done something for him, just maybe. He suffered in silence and that is what is so wrong. Nobody should suffer in silence.

The bell rang and I quickly snap out of my thoughts. I took one final look at the note, before putting it in my pocket.

And that's how I found myself sitting in the principal's office today. Pleading for him to let me start a support group.

"Millie, what can I do for you?"

"I have a question I want to ask you."

The principal takes off his glasses and moves with his hands to tell me to sit down.

"This is my brother," I say as I show a picture of him from two months before his death.

"Okay?"

"He is the best brother I could ever imagine, he was there for me, he protected me, I felt save whenever I was with him. There was this boy who bullied me in high school. My brother was the one who stood up for me. He even invented an anti-bullying program in our school that they still use."

"Your brother sounds great Millie, but I don't see why you're telling me all of this."

"My brother killed himself a little bit over one year ago. He was suffering from depression. He felt like he had no one, like no one would be there for him when he needed it the most."