Fictober 2019

"It's not always like this." - Wynonna Earp

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Wynonna Earp has to meet with the mayor of the town, the marvellous Bunny Loblaw, to explain how exactly the team managed to screw up.

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'You blew up a car.'

'There was already a time bomb attached to it. We just speeded up the process with this little baby,' Wynonna Earp smiled as she caressed Peacemaker.

'You opened fire in a building filled with civilians.'

'Among whom was a shapeshifting demon,' the Earp defended herself. 'Besides Peacemaker won't shoot at normal humans. Usually. So they were completely safe,' she assured and thought about her words. 'Well, it was more like they had a 65% chance of survival, which is a D, so it's not that bad.'

'And you started a fire that burnt down nearly a third of Purgatory's beautiful nature park,' Bunny Loblaw finished reading the report. She narrowed her eyes at the delinquent as she waited for an explanation.

'Yeah, we take full responsibility for that. To be fair, the nature park is just a forest and calling it beautiful is a bit excessive, don't you think?' the brunette argued.

'Do you know how much your shenanigans cost this town? With every 'mission', you lay waste to Purgatory and every time, we have to build it back up again,' the mayor didn't seem very pleased.

'And yet, it still looks the same as it did 200 years ago,' the heir quipped. 'Listen, Bunny,' she leaned forward in her chair and looked the other woman in the eye. 'There are some things happening in this town that you don't want to know about. That's cool,  because ignorance is bliss and shit. But my team and I, we have to take care of those weird situations otherwise you'd all be dead by now. So, all I'm asking, is that you turn a blind eye to the byproduct of our work efforts the same way you ignore the crazy stuff in Purgatory. Think you can do that? Besides, it's not always like this.' Wynonna sat back and spoke self assuredly, 'I bet there were times when you didn't even know we were chasing a bad guy.'

'I can assure you that it is always like this,' the older woman promised unpleasantly. 'Off the top of my head, you ruined one of the town's new project and made a mess with that slime in those condos' basement.'

'That wasn't my fault,' Wynonna dismissed.

'You trapped a man in a well.'

'He deserved it.'

'You stole some silverware that clearly was Purgatory property.'

'That was Waverly, and technically she was possessed by an evil black goo,' the heir pointed out.

'I'm not pointing fingers,' Bunny assured.

'It sure feels that way,' the brunette faked a smile.

'I'm not. I was just letting you know you weren't being as subtle as you thought. Now, what are your plans on catching this ... whatever it is you're dealing with right now?' The mayor questioned.

The Earp shrugged, 'track the guy and shoot 'em in the face.'

The older woman cleared her throat pointedly. 'That doesn't sound like much of a plan.'

'We could always find the demon and send him your way if you have a better idea,' Wynonna proposed cheekily.

The bureaucrat paled visibly. 'That won't be necessary. I'm certain you have a handle on the situation.'

The Earp heir smiled brightly at her victory. 'I'm glad we're on the same page, Bunny.' She stood up decisively, 'it's always a pleasure doing business with you. I hope I don't see you around!'