The final element you need in your query letter is the consequence. What will happen if the MC doesn't solve the problem? Doesn't get what they want? Will evil forces achieve world domination? Will her brother die? Is it a race against time across Antarctica to find the long lost jewel of the Nile? What's the consequence?
In the queries I've read, this is what's lacking the most. The consequence. You've hooked me, set me up, explained the conflict that's keeping me from getting what I want, but…what will happen if I don't solve the conflict? That's the consequence. If you're having trouble identifying yours, it's time to go back to the revising stage—in the novel.
Let's examine the blurbs in full:
1 . In a world where Thinkers brainwash the population and Rules are not meant to be broken, fifteen-year-old Violet Schoenfeld does a hell of a job shattering them to pieces.
After committing her eighth lame crime (walking in the park after dark with a boy, gasp!), Vi is taken to the Green, a group of Thinkers who control the Goodgrounds. She’s found unrehabilitatable (yeah, she doesn’t think it’s a word either) and exiled to the Badlands. Good thing sexy Bad boy Jag Barque will be going too.
Dodging Greenies and hovercopters, dealing with absent-father issues, and coming to terms with feelings for an ex-boyfriend—and Jag as a possible new one—leave Vi little time for much else. Which is too damn bad, because she’s more important than she realizes. When secrets about her “dead” sister and not-so-missing father hit the fan, Vi must make a choice: control or be controlled.
Oooh, what will it be? You’ll have to read to find out….
This query landed me an agent and a book deal with Simon & Schuster. Those last four words? They became the tagline on the cover of my book. I didn't choose them to be there--my editor did. After my agent used them in her pitch. After I wrote them in my query letter.
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From the Query to The Call
Non-FictionFROM THE QUERY TO THE CALL outlines what a query letter -- or cover copy -- is, why every author needs to master the art of describing their book in just a few words, and how to successfully navigate the querying process. Authors looking to query pu...
