Under The Mask//depressed Mao Mao fanfic//Mao Mao heroes of Pure Heart

chapter 1

Mao Mao laded in bed, as normal, he couldn't sleep. He just stared at the bottom of Adorabat's bunk, thinking. what did he think about? what he always thinks about, himself. not in the way you'd think he would though. he doesn't think "Oh wow im so great!" like he always says out loud, but instead, he lays there. thinking about how horrible he is. normal people would call this self pity, but its more like self hatered. he doesn't pity himself, he just hates himself. Mao Mao blames himself for being neglected by his father. He believes he deserves everything bad that come to him. He believes he deserves pain. To cope, he participates in self harm, keeping it under his glove so no one can know of his little habit. not even Badgerclops. if you was to see the cuts he makes daily, you could see the cuts clearly. that is because his blade cuts the fur as well. though he mostly cut his wrist, Mao Mao also had some cuts on his stomach and his legs. Mao Mao cut everywhere he could. most of the time, Mao Mao has to force food down because of his state, he had lost his appetite but he knew this would draw attention that he didn't want. so he eat, feeling horrible. sometimes he'd throw it up. 

Mao Mao was thinking about all of this when his alarms went off, knowing that Adorabat will be up in a matter of seconds, he forces a smile and jumps up to meet his side kick.

///Mao Mao's Pov///

I could hear Adorabat yawn and stretch her wings out

"Mornin' Mao Mao! Mornin' Badgerclops!" Adorabat said her normal greeting to us both, Baderclops not responding

"Good morning, little deputy!" i respond back to her, happily. im tired.

"im hungry! Badgerclops! can you make me something to eat?" she asks him. Badgerclops jolts up 

"im up im up!" Badgerclops yells, he probably fell back asleep. id love to do that. i can hear him yawn as well

"okay well since your up, can you make pancakes?" Adorabat questions Bagerclops again. i normally would have gotten out of my bed but im so tired. i really dont want, ill just wait a little bit longer. my eyelids got heavy. surely it would be ok to.. take a small nap? i mean i haven't been able to sleep all night so it wouldn't hurt, right?.. yeah 

//no one's Pov//

Mao Mao feel asleep quickly, Adorabat and Bagerclops kept talking, and Badgerclops even went to make breakfast. neither of them noticed their bossy cat friend had fallen asleep. after making pancakes for breakfast, Badgerclops finally noticed that Mao Mao wasn't there with them

"hey, Adorabat wasn't Mao Mao right behind you?" Badgerclops asked while plating her pancakes 

"huh? wait he isn't here? i thought he was" Adorabat looks at her plate of pancakes and smothers them in syrup 

"hm.." Badgerclops hums and thinks about it for a moment. plating his own pancakes and Mao Mao's he figures that he'll be there in a moment and is just getting ready. Badgerclops poors syrup on them but not as much as Adorabat. Mao Mao normally doesnt put any syrup on his pancakes, so Badgerclops didn't mess with it. 

only after both Adorabat and Badgerclops had finished their food, would they start to worry. Mao Mao's pancakes were getting cold and Adorabat was thinking about eating them herself.

"maybe he got stuck?" Adorabat blurts out, after both of them had ate in quite.

"no no.. i dont think he would" Badgerclops trails off, lost in thought. 

"i think we should check on him, what if something happened?" Adorabat said worried, she always worries. Badgerclops sometimes found this annoying but right now he agreed