Carve Me Open / r.l. + s.b. /

Only Once

"Mark me," Sirius grumbled, "if all of the good food is gone because his fat arse is fixing his hair, I'm going to maim him."

James gave Sirius a warning squint, "Don't talk about him like that just because you're in a petty mood."

"I'm not in a petty mood," Sirius barked, carding his fingers through his hair roughly.

James wasn't wrong. Sirius' mood had taken a turn for the worst after the unveiling of Remus' costume, but there was little he could do about it now—little he wanted to do about it. Remus was off searching for Julienne without Evans, and Sirius was stuck with Peter bloody Pettigrew and James-the-slur-slinging-Potter. On any other occasion, he wouldn't have minded. They weren't that bad as individuals, and James' bigotry only came to play when he wanted to show out; no one was left to impress. However, he had to ask himself what made this case different from the rest. They were his best friends and always had been, so what had agitated him to the brink of insanity?

Julienne Joanna Je-fucking-rome, that's what, with her birthing hips and dimpled smiles. Why did she smile all the time? Thoughts pierced the mental shield Sirius erected when in public, the filter that caught the obscene and violent phrases that frequented the bowels of his brain. His fists balled in his lap, knuckles itching for friction. Could he punch the smirk off her face? Speaking of smiling, how did she make Remus grin from ear to ear all the time? What did she say to him? Sirius was quite sure Remus's sense of humor had a bit of an acquired taste, and he only found certain things funny in a particular context. He beamed with triumph. Bet Julienne didn't know that!

And for God's sake, why did she have to be beautiful? Sirius couldn't find the appeal from neither his cultured perspective nor Remus' innocent one. In fact, every time he saw her face, he'd wanted to stomp on it. Stomp on it till her goddamn brains were splattered all over the asphalt. But then, Remus would sure be mad at him, so he refrained from living out these fantasies. The moment he'd catch a glimpse of her angel costume, he vowed to vomit just for theatrical effect. Yet, there was no denying that she was, in fact, a beautiful young woman with appealing traits to any straight young man.

Sirius paled.

"Is this about Remus," James asked, taking a seat on the staircase beside him.

"Why would you assume that?" Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, inhaling deeply and not letting go.

"Because you've been glaring daggers into the back of his head since he got dressed," James chortled. Damn him. Curse his ability to read Sirius so well. But, honestly, when could he ever get his peace for moping? A man must mope. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but just know, I'm not going to like crucify you for it."

"No," Sirius drawled. "You'd rat me out to the Romans for a bowl of tomato soup, and they'd finish it for you, sneaky git."

"I thought you were the one with the cunning Slytherin qualities, Sirius," James pointed out dryly, scratching his arm weakly. Sirius observed the common room in a passive despondence, heaving a defeated sigh once he realized Remus would not return. "Come on, Sirius. Talk to me."

Looking over at James, Sirius considered him for a moment. One moment: a brash Gryffindor with arrogance and a temper roaring in his chest to the point of idiocy. A boy with his foot caught in the door, one half in a world of wizardry and Quidditch and school, while the other half was just trying to figure out how this "friendship" thing worked with a guy he wanted to tear apart a year ago. And then the next moment: an understanding, gentle soul – much like Remus – with the uncanny talent of seeing right through his best friend's façade.

Sirius plunked down beside him, throwing his braid over his shoulder with an intense impression of drama, "I just... I feel like... Okay, here me out, yeah?" James nodded once, giving Sirius his utmost attention. "I feel like I'm losing Rem. Not in a physical sense, yeah? 'Coz, we hang out all the time, and we study together; shit, I'm his potions tutor. But lately, it just feels like he's not in it, you know? Not to mention, he's been up in arms with a girl who doesn't give a jot about him in that way. Everybody can tell."