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chapter one

NOT FAMILIAR WITH DEFEAT

"NO! STEVE, STOP! We can't—I can't leave him." Sobs left Raven Nix's mouth as Steve Rogers tried to pry her from her low position on the ground, the heels of her boots carving into the earth's surface as she refused to leave.

   They had lost; they aren't supposed to lose. They're the Avengers...they never lose.

   He let go of her shoulders with a sigh, tired of trying and exhausted from fighting. "Raven, please," he pleaded quietly, his chest aching not only from physical pain, but from the emotional and mental trauma he and the others had just endured. "He's not here anymore." The small crack in his voice made her glance up at him for a moment, only to look back down to the ground where the person she loved most had disappeared before her eyes into the void of space, leaving only his gun behind.

Was it peaceful death that greeted everyone who disappeared, or did the stones Thanos possessed drag them into a hell no one alive could fathom? In Raven's eyes, nothing was certain, especially when it came to the mad titan that brought ruin and destruction everywhere he went.

   She gulped back tears as her hands maneuvered their way around the metal of the weapon, the handle next to the trigger was still slightly warm from Bucky Barnes' tight grip on it during the fight. A feeling of dysphoria began to emerge in her gut. She reached to wipe away some of the tears from her eyes so she could see clearly, her gaze quickly finding the small initials Bucky had carved into the side of the barrel a few months prior.

   Raven ran the pad of her thumb over the carving, feeling the small bumps in the metal. Natasha looked to Steve as he watched her, guilt written on his face. She placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly.

   He didn't know how to handle this without possibly making it worse. In Steve's mind, there was a chance Raven blamed him for losing, but that idea went out the window when she spoke again, albeit quietly and almost a whisper, but they heard her.

   "I should've tried harder," she claimed, her voice came out in a choked manner, warm tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. She frantically wiped at them, grasping the gun more firmly and stumbling to her feet.

"Raven—" Steve began, but she cut him off roughly.

"No. No. Don't say that it wasn't my fault or that it wouldn't have mattered because it would've," she said as firmly as her shaky voice would allow in the moment, earning concerned looks from the remaining team members. Even though part of Raven blamed herself for not fully helping the team, she knew that Bucky wouldn't have let her exert too much energy in fear of what could happen to the baby. The thoughts swarming her brain caused a hand to drift onto her stomach, but after quickly realizing her actions, her hand dropped to her side. The remaining members of the Avengers looked at her in a sad, yet curious manner, none knowing she was pregnant. A certain look in Raven's glazed-over eyes made Natasha worry as the former pushed past them and trudged off.

Nat tiredly ran a hand over her face, the entirety of her body overcome with worry and grief. Despite the strong feelings, she tried to replace them with a determination to fix what Thanos tore apart. "What are we gonna do?"

   Steve let out a soft breath. "I don't know."

[STILL ALIVE]