A Downward Spiral

10

When will you finally realize you cant always be the strong one with a smile on their face ready to handle everyone else's issues? When will you finally realize that you cant get others to smile if your not smiling? You cant get others to be happy if your not happy. You've made yourself the one others depend on. Too many people depend on you. You can't handle it all. The stress of school, work, a relationship snd helping everyone has taken its toll. But who is gonna help you?
    Your smiles are fake. You've practiced a fake laugh. Its indestuingishable from your actual laugh. Not that it matters because you hardly have a real laugh anymore. You are the sunshine in a lot of people's days. But you cant hold yourself up. You feel like falling snd crying and just letting it all out. But no one would be there for you. They only keep you for your bright moments.
   You keep your mind locked. You have to. So many people depend on you, you cant let them down. No one understand how your mind works. No one cares. When your down they only make you feel worse because you werent there for them. No one reaches their hand out for you.
   You write it all out, but writing only helps so much. It's all still swirling in your head and you dont know how to stop it. So you just wait it out. You start to feel a little better and get back to helping everyone else again. It's only a matter of time before this cycle is broken.
   You are tired of being the lifeline. When will someone else step in and take lead for a while. You've stressed yourself to the max. Carrying the load of everyone elses problems. You just wish that something would change. Maybe once someone asked how you are? Maybe an old friend checks in on you. Something to prove that humanity still has purity and that someone out there cares. But until then, you're stuck being the one that has to stay strong.
   One day finally, you find yourself calm and relaxed. No stress. No worries. You love the feeling. It feels warm. Your whole body does.
    The blood runs from your legs and arms. You only lay there as you bleed out. And its finally then, you find peace in yourself, and finally cease to exsist.......