Innocent

c h a p t e r s e v e n t e e n

HERMIONE WAS AN IDIOT. The girl lay, swamped in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Flames of humiliation licked at her cheeks. She was giddy and stupid as she rehearsed the scene mindlessly. 

"Was he smiling?" She whispered at the ceiling. 

She couldn't remember. Everything had flown by so fast in the darkness it seemed like a vision. She clamped her hands together, and awkwardly interlaced them. His hand was so much larger than hers. It almost swallowed her palm as a whole. She wondered if he could hear her heartbeat drumming through her body. She felt like a firework, exploding into the sky, and falling back to earth. Her thoughts were cut short by the door banging shut. 

Lavender pranced in, spotted Hermione, and did some jazz hands next to the door. 

"Ta-da!"

Ginny walked out, her hair braided into a crown over her head. Hermione forced a surprised look at Ginny's hair. It wasn't anything to be excited about. She wanted time to think, but that would have to wait till later. 

"Woah! That's so pretty."

Ginny laughed before diving into the bed. 

"Your turn!"

"No, it's fine."

"Come on!" Lavender begged.

All she wanted to do was lay at the lake, and stare at the sky. The afternoon breeze always calmed her and left a fresh feeling to linger before she had to go back to the stuffy library. If it wasn't for the rainstorms and the chigger bites that ate at her skin, she would stay outside forever. 

"I guess you can if you're up for a challenge."

Ginny and Lavender looked at each other with some sort of knowing smile before advancing. This was a mistake. Lavender grinned. "Sweet! You are not going to regret this!" 

But you are. Hands pulled at her hair, and she winced. 

"I'll do left, you do right..."

With strands of her hair everywhere, her head felt naked. 

"So," Ginny said, "who's the mystery man?"

"Nothing."

"You promised!"

"Tell us!" Lavender said. 

Hermione wanted to floor to open up and swallow her. She'd completely forgotten about Ginny's promise- and she didn't want to lie. Ginny was her best friend, and telling her about a new friend was nothing major. Right, a friend. 

"Well, don't get your hopes up... he's just a friend."

"Sure he is."

"No, I'm serious, he is just a...friend."

Lavender giggled ecstatically. Gosh, she was annoying. If it was just Ginny, Hermione would have no trouble. Since the war, things between Lavender and her had gotten rocky. Lavender and Ginny were always hanging out together, doing each other's hair, laughing about boys, and talking late into the night. Even as they tugged at her hair, she could hear them whispering and giggling.

Both had the same attitude and perpetual smile tacked to their faces. Sometimes Hermione thought she was staring at a clown with large glassy eyes and a powdery face. 

Ginny sighed. 

"You don't have to tell us, Hermione, it's fine."

 Hermione slightly smiled. She'd bypassed the torment. 

But a vine of worry etched its way through her mind. If anything, maybe she was the one who was pushing Ginny away. Hermione had kept her cards to her chest since the war, even lying to hide the sordid truth. She was the one who had planted the seed of doubt and let it spread its roots into their relationship. 

Darn. 

Hermione glued her mouth shut. Her eyes wandered the vibrant wallpaper, picking out the saddening details; a rip in the corner, grime above a case, and flowers that were blood red. They needed new wallpaper, it was horrid. On instinct, she whipped out her wand and began fixing the unsightly errors. Even subtle creases knocked her down a peg and rubbed salt into her already weary day. 

It truly was her fault- not them, her. 

"You have to promise not to tell." Ginny was saying. 

Someone tugged hard on her left side, and Hermione gasped softly. 

"Sorry," Lavender said.

"Do you promise not to tell- ?"

"I'm not going to tell anyone."

The girls had been talking about Harry, and Hermione zoned out again. It was harder to imagine Ron and Harry. It seemed like it had been eons since she had seen the familiar faces laughing.

"Ron was telling me about how Harry was talking about me all the time, and like worried about me."

Lavender ooohed. 

"That's great," Hermione said placidly. 

Hermione knew she was in too deep. 

"And that's not the only thing..."

Ginny went on, and Hermione felt more and more of her hair pile on top of her head. With all the curls, it would look barbarous, but she didn't say anything. She just had to hold it together until they were done. Then she could make her quick escape- downstairs, out the doors, and next to the lake. 

"You know who else is decent," Lavender paused clucking her tongue, "Freut McArthur." 

Ginny made a barfing noise, and Lavender cackled. 

                                            *************************

Hermione's toes were suspended in a clear glass filled with moss. The lake had cleared up, revealing the rugged edges and grime. It was beautiful all the same. She made sure not to brush the dirt with her toes, or it would muddy the water. This was where he had pushed her into the lake on accident. Right here. She imagined herself laying awkward in the water, her clothes welled up around her like balloons. She creeped out of the water slowly. A rich smile glued to her face of shock. Did she laugh? She couldn't remember. All her old memories were as distorted as the rush of feelings inside her. Nothing made sense. Her own body was rebelling against the ancient principles she had engraved into her walls.

Suddenly, it hit Hermione harder than a brick. The glass water was destroyed as her feet plunged into the soil. 

Another presence loomed behind her, stark shoulders, and rich hair blinded by the light. She gazed back at the galaxy of water only to find a filthy brown. Billows of dirt tumbled through the water, destroying the specks of stars lost in her imagination. Hermione glared at the water. Through the reflection, she could make out a man smiling at her. 

Ron had come to visit. 

Proverbs 24:17 - Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,