Innocent

c h a p t e r o n e

SHE RUBBED HER EYES AGAIN. The textbook print had turned into a merge of brown and black. Hermione tried to focus on the text, but it was useless. Her entire vision had melted into fuzzy shapes. It felt as if the day was moving through sludge: constantly dragging her back to page one. Her head throbbed, her eyes had given up, and her hands felt numb. She nervously looked at her veiny arm. The arm had been aching since eight. With the slightest movement, her arm had turned to cotton balls. She groaned as she shoved the book into her bag and headed out of the library. OWLS was coming soon, and she was a wreck. She was drowning in words and facts. 

It was her 7th year, and Harry and Ron were nowhere to be seen at Hogwarts. Not that it had been a surprise to anyone. Harry said he wanted to "take it easy," and Ron had been to busy upkeeping  Weasley Wizard Wheezes to return. 

Which was great- really great. 

Harry deserved it. And Ron... She swallowed the lump in her throat. He deserved it too. A small part of her craved his faint smile. If he had just stayed one more year, maybe she would have the courage to confess. It wasn't much, but a faint flutter in her stomach, and her cheeks burning. When he held her hand and pulled her along, his head leaning against her shoulder, his smile, his gaze, even their small kiss. Those wild memories were stamped in her mind and sent her heart pounding. 

She was so enthralled with these thoughts, her shoulder clipped the wall and sent a chill through her body. 

"I have to forget."

Today during lunch, she had almost asked the wall how "his" studies were going, and then remembered Ron was gone. It was hard without her two best friends. Even the letters seemed lackluster.  Her old memories haunted her and carved out a scar that couldn't be fixed. Part of her soul was stuck in the battle. Everyone suffered from horrific memories. She was just stuck. She was treading through an ocean, trying to drag her feet to an invisible island. The trip back to the common room now seemed miles away. Her back lurched as she dragged the heavy bag of textbooks with her. Another ache split through her head. She wobbled. Her vision tunneled, and she was looking at Dumbledore. He was giving her a worried look, and she almost asked how he was alive until she realized it was a painting. Her books were sprawled around her, and she had fallen into the wall. Her heart roared. Like a parasite, her heart sucked the life out of her limbs with resonating thuds. Thuds. Thud.

 Her world was black. A searing pain returned to her body. She could feel her shoulders and fingers, bruised from the repetitive slaps she had given them. It was addicting trying to revive pain. She bit into her tongue trying to resist screaming. Her nerves screamed with the past taste of pain. The wooden floor. Her bones aligning themselves- connecting to other bones. Her skin pulled tight under pressure. Other's fears glazed on her tongue, and she could see them in her mind. They were black shadows moving slowly as if being X-rayed.

 There was a sword stabbing through her heart, and she heard a scream. The sword plunged deeper into her body, slicing open her organs like slabs of meat. One of the shadows in her mind came closer. She tried to beg them to help her, but her tongue lay motionless in her mouth. The shadow paused, almost inspecting her. She could feel his fear. 

The boy's hesitation radiated off in waves. Color returned to Hermione's eyes. She lay broken on the floor. She could still feel a faint pulse in her stomach, so the sword must not have fully killed her. When she looked down, she was surprised to see no blood oozing from her stomach. There was a movement at her left. Hermione tried to stand up, but her body caved through the floor. She could see Malfoy walking around the corner. His body looked stiff as if he was putting on some act. It was him. He was the shadow. He must have heard the screams, or seen her flapping around on the floor. She licked her lips and tasted acid.

"Did you see?"

Malfoy walked past her ignoring the question. She stuck her foot out to catch him but missed by a second. Then she remembered how juvenile that was, and how everything was over. He was already about to turn another corner. She cursed herself.

"Malfoy, how long have you been here?"

He stopped and turned around. Malfoy gave her a hesitant look.

"How long-"

Malfoy sighed. "I heard you the first time, Granger."

"I've been here... a while."

"Did you see?" Hermione croaked out.

He shrugged wearily. Of course, he saw. Just her luck.

"What happened?" She demanded.

"Look, Granger, I'm not going to tell. I really don't care."

Hearing her last name was a comfort in the strange state she was in. 

"What was I doing?" She asked. 

"You were on the floor.. I think,  passed out."

Relief flushed through her. Too much- her body was tipping over again. The floor raced towards her skull. She didn't have time to yell out, so she just waited for the impact.

From far away, she could hear Malfoy curse under his breath. Pain shot through her skull and whipped through her memories. She was losing brain cells from this. Cold strong hands lifted her off the ground, and for a split second his eyes weren't glaring into her. He let go, and her body slid back, weak from the rush. She pushed herself against the wall. 

His blue eyes skimmed her face before he was gone.

                                                                   ***************                                                                                       

After a few minutes, feeble strength crawled back into Hermione's limbs. She limped to the library and began looking for books on visions and dreams. She was more confused than ever, and nothing made sense. What happened? Was it a dream, vision, or something else? If only Harry was here, even Dumbledore. Dumbledore always had some wise answer to any question she asked. Sometimes, he was so right it frustrated her. 

The book titles merged together under her weak eyesight, but the numbness was gone. She peered close to the pages, trying to inhale information quickly before the library closed. She knew she only had minutes, but her mind felt like it was on the edge of discovery. Like in fantasy when the character is on the verge of awakening. She was so close and could taste it in the air. 

She skimmed through chapters of books, passing pages, and looking for keywords. Almost there. Her hands were blazing through pages with adrenaline. She worked diligently, till curfew. She even tried to sneak in a few minutes after that, but Mrs. Prince shot her a knowing glance. Hermione slid the remaining books into her bag and walked out of the library. Her discovery excitement had left her empty-handed. 

Through the window, she could make out the ghost of a moon- almost a full moon. A shiver ran down her back at its pale glare.

1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."