Unsteady

31. Fools

When he left, he took it all with him.

The good, the bad and the things I loved the most. He took a piece of me I would never get back and no matter what I tried to do, I knew only he could put it back.

There was no doubt I would always have a place for him, no matter how many bad things he did or how many times we fought I would have always taken him back.

I reached for another tissue from my nearly empty tissue box and blew my nose.

I was a mess.

Knock knock.

I groaned and contemplated leaving the person standing there, but then I realized Ryder had given me back his key which meant he had no way to get into the apartment.

My heart swelled with hope as I jumped off the couch and rushed to the door, it was probably bad of me to let myself get carried away by my hopeful thoughts thinking it would be him.

I unlocked the door and swung it open, only to find a grinning Violet standing on the other side of it.

My face fell as I realized who it was and I slammed the door shut.

"Hey! Riley open up," Violet yelled on the other side of the door.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the front door, ready to go back to wallowing in my own filth.

"Go away!" I yelled back, my throat hurting as I screamed.

Okay, maybe I was being a bit of a horrible friend but in my defence I knew Violet was coming over to try and cheer me up. I didn't want to be happy, right now. All I wanted was to cry over Ryder-

Dammit I said his name!

All I wanted was to cry over him and then maybe she can come over to cheer me up, but not now.

"Riley, I know you're hurting. Just let me in," Violet pleaded.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I weighed the pros and cons of the situation.

"I came over to be your shoulder to cry on, you're not alone," Violet said softly, I hardly heard her through the door.

At those words I felt my heart crack and I wrenched open the door, my eyes filled to the brim with a fresh set of tears.

"Oh Riley," Violet said sympathetically, pulling me into a hug.

I hugged her back and allowed my heart to break into a million new pieces. She smelled comforting, like pressed linen. I didn't understand why, but that thought made me cry harder than before. The tears ran freely down my face and I released a strangled sob as I tried to speak.

"He's g-gone Vi," I sobbed weakly, clutching onto her shirt.

Violet didn't say anything and stroked my hair comfortingly as I emptied my eyes.

When my tears had seized and I was left a sniffling mess, I pulled back and rubbed my sore eyes. Violet smiled at me softly.

I turned away from her and dropped back down onto the couch, wrapping myself up in the thick blanket.

Violet wrinkled her nose as her eyes fell on the movie we were watching but she didn't say anything and dropped her bag next to her when she sat down next to me.