small words || jeongcheol

41: lashing out.

The hospital.

"I told you to leave," Seungcheol said flatly.

Minhee crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, is that any way to greet an old friend?" she questioned.

"We are not friends," Seungcheol retorted.

"Seungcheol," his mom said. The nurse stood up.

"I'm not talking to you," he said to his ex, bumping her shoulder as he stalked out.

"Cheol-" Junmyeon called after him, but Seungcheol kept walking.

He wanted nothing to do with that woman. When he was seventeen, she was everything he could have ever wanted. But by nineteen, when his mom was diagnosed with cancer, Minhee was needy for attention but Seungcheol was practically bending over backwards to pay for his mom's hospital bills, keep him and his older brother fed, and to keep a roof over their heads.

Junmyeon had to finish his law degree, which their mom forbade him from dropping out of to help with money. It had paid off, in the end, since now their family had no money troubles with Junmyeon running his own successful law firm. But none of their struggles had seemed serious enough to Minhee; Seungcheol remembered vividly the way she had spoken to him during that time. He was doing all he could to spend time with her between his part-time jobs, but it hadn't been enough for her.

Seungcheol kept walking.

Minhee had been the love of his life, a whirlwind romance that started at seventeen and seemed like it was endgame. He had imagined proposing to her, marrying her, maybe even having some kids one day. But Minhee was too quick to judge, too quick to find something wrong with him, and too quick to anger. Seungcheol didn't realise at first, but he was constantly apologising for something or other he had done.

"You shouldn't be eating that, it has too many calories."

"Why don't you make more time for me?"

"Why have you stopped going to the gym?"

"You're not listening to me."

"You're not meeting my needs," was the most common crime of his. Seungcheol had been ashamed of himself. But there wasn't much more he could have done when his mom was admitted to hospital the first time. He had pretended he hadn't gone back to his old habits of comfort eating and claimed he had gained a few pounds because he didn't have time to go the gym.

Seungcheol was brought sharply to the present when he stopped in an unfamiliar corridor, in front of a vending machine.

Chocolates, crisps and other candies lined the shelves. He felt that old urge to dig through his pockets for spare change and quench his hunger with a mars bar. But he'd changed now.

"Hey," Junmyeon said, wiping sweat from his forehead as he reached his younger brother's side. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Seungcheol muttered. I just had to get away from her.

"You want something?" Junmyeon asked him. "I'm getting nervous and hungry at the same time."

Seungcheol shook his head. But Junmyeon took out his wallet and slotted a few coins into the machine. He pressed two buttons, and the vending machine returned a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar. Junmyeon offered the chocolate to his brother, and he reluctantly took it.

"God, I'm stressed," the older brother muttered, starting to scoff the crisps.

"You're gonna get fat," Seungcheol said jokingly.