Crumbling Cakes

Part XXXVII (37) *POV Bonus*

Lei looked down, contemplating. There were opinions and thoughts flickering through her mind that I knew existed but would also not be entirely voiced. "Will this work; will you find peace?"

I didn't want to lie. The answer was that there was no guarantee. Her reaction couldn't be worse than Sebastian's. "At some point, I'll have to move again. Or it'll be the end of the road."

"The dice always land the same then." Her eyes bounced between mine. "Why not stay?"

"You're at risk if I do."

"We can take care of ourselves, Lia." She pressed. Her will to change my fate evident in her posture, her tone. "I've seen enough of the world to know what to expect. I'm not concerned about my outcome." The familiar disappointment tried to make its way up but I forced it down. These emotions were tired and wrung out, I just wanted them to dry. "I want to know what he thinks of this."

"He's not happy. But this isn't his choice."

"That's not what I was saying. It's clear he cares for you." She moved a piece or two, I stopped noticing. "It hasn't been an easy road. My concern lies in whether this decision you've made will really make a difference."

I swallowed. "It'll keep all of you safe."

"But what about you, Lia. What about you?" The intensity in her tone cracked at my resolve.

"Maybe for a little while."

"A little while?" She shook her head disbelieving. "Is that enough? Is that all you are settling for?"

"It's the only option, Lei."

"An option." We stared at each other, willing the other to bend for our own cause. I was starting to believe I attracted the same type of person. Inhaling deeply, I broke our stalemate.

"When I can, and it's safe, I promise to send you a card. So you know that I'm okay."

"I'll look forward to it." She smiled sadly.

"I'll come see you, if it becomes safe. I will." The promise came hurtling out before I could filter it.

She nodded. "I have to wonder if maybe a different path wouldn't be more appropriate." Lei sat back, chin tilted up. "Sometimes we convince ourselves that the road we choose is the only one, and we block every other possibility in our stubbornness." She reached out and patted my hand, squeezing firmly before letting go. "Consider your options carefully, sweet Dalia."

I sat silently moving a piece for the sake of moving this along. Consider my options. A novel idea that had been thrown my way by Ronaldo. Lei wasn't forcing me to stay, in fact, she seemed to accept what was to come. She just didn't think that I was choosing right. At this point, might as well take a number and wait in line.

"How do you see this ending?" Fuck, neither one of them would let this go. It was like an application or test that kept asking the same question over and over again in different ways, waiting for you to trip up.

But it was a simple question. "Not very well."

She nodded. "Take to heart what makes your odds stronger."

"I—" The words floundered on my tongue. My odds were constantly changing; inching up only to plummet straight down. Lei's hand came back to cradle my face, her thumb barely caressing along the tenderized skin. Her eyes were soft and...sad?

"You will do what you know to be right, Lia." Her use of his nickname clenched my heart. "We are here, should you need us, yes?" I nodded. Lei's crooked index tilted my chin up, the tip resting on her knuckle. My nose stung and I was afraid I would break down right here. Sobbing into the comfort of her neck as I confessed that I didn't believe I was choosing right at all. I bit my lip to keep it all at bay. "Hold on to hope. Don't let one road blind you."