Old Man

Six

Me: HEY
Me: HEY
Me: HEY
Old Man: What the hell do you want it's 3 in the morning
Me: Ok one I know you being all freaky deaky with Sam two remember smut
Old Man: your acting like a horny teenager one but continue
Me: wait how'd you know I was horny now I'm not a teenager but hey I still am
Old Man: wait what
Me: Nothing but wanna read a smut
Old Man: uhhhh sure
Me: Just remember it's word porn
Old Man: I know
Me: Now I'm not responsible for what you read
Old Man: alright
Me: It has scared people for life and broken friendships so you have to stay friends with me even if you get scared
Old Man: JUST SEND THE GOD DAMN THING
Me: OK OK OK OK
Me: oh yeah also FYI it's a Sebastien Stan smut aka the guy who plays Bucky in the documentary series and who is a sexy Romanian sex god who plays the sexy metal armed man/amazing handsome man ima one day call my husband
Old Man: ok I'll wait for you to send it and what makes you think your going to marry him
Me: I don't know he'd probably never like me I'm chubby, ugly, weird, weird, and emotional 😂😂😂
Old Man: that's not true
Me: how you know for all you know I could be a 70 year old jacking off to hentai right now
Old Man: I know you lyin and what's hentai?
Me: UHHHH HERES THE SMUT
Me: https://sinner-as-saint.tumblr.com/post/185150001252/back-for-you-mob-seb-au
Old Man: Ok doll I'll read that and then get right back at ya

Oh shit he's actually goin to read it FUCKKKKKKKKKKK welp ima just go yeet myself off a bridge😂😂😂...
Dede: soooooo uhhhhh we tried making burgers
Me: OH NO
Dede: and uhhhhhhhh well someone got caught on fire and the kitchen is kinda on fire just a lil bit
Me: oh just a lil bit huh I guess I'll come over and kill y'all right after

Me: hey Buck your probably still reading the smut heh heh heh but there's kinda a small emergency that I have to go tend to soooo see ya hoe

A/N send help I have the same first period as my cousin and I have to control myself from yeeting myself across desks tackling my cousin onto the ground from his desk and choking the shit outta him...I ALREADY HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIM FOR HIGHSCHOOL MAN