At My Side (The Outsiders Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

The nurse, who was pulling the shades open, smiled and said, "So he can talk after all."

Two- Bit looked around. "They treatin' you okay, kid?"
Cocoa smiled to the nurse and gave her a small wave, making her chuckle softly and mutter, "How cute," under her breathe.

"Don't . . ."- Johnny gasped- "don't let me put enough grease on my hair."

"Don't talk," Two- Bit said, pulling up a chair, "just listen. We'll bring you some hair grease next time. We're havin' the big rumble tonight."

Johnny's huge black eyes widened a little, but he didn't say anything. "It's too bad you and Dally can't be in it. It's the first big rumble we've had- not countin' the time we whipped Shepard's outfit."

"He came by," Johnny said.

"Tim Shepard?" Johnny nodded.

"Came to see Dally."

"Did you know you got your name in the paper for being a hero?"

Johnny almost grinned as he nodded. "Tuff enough," he managed, and by the way his eyes were glowing. Cocoa could see that even a few words were tiring him out; he was as pale as snow and looked awful. Two- Bit pretended not to notice.

"You want anything besides hair grease, kid?" Johnny barely nodded.

"The book"- he looked at Pony- "can you get another one?"

"Book?" Cocoa asked. Two- Bit looked at Pony too.

"He wants a copy of Gone with the Wind so I can read it to him," Pony explained, "You want to run down to the drugstore and get one?"

"Okay," Two- Bit said cheerfully. "Don't y'all run off. You wanna come Cocoa?"
Cocoa shook her head and sat down on the floor.

Pony sat down in Two- Bit's chair and tried to be a fish. Glub, glub...

"Dally's gonna be okay," Pony said finally, no longer trying to be a fish.

"And Darry and me, we're okay now." Cocoa knew Johnny understood what Pony meant. They had always been close buddies (not as close as Dally was to Johnny through). He tried to smile again, and then suddenly went white and closed his eyes tight. "Johnny!" Pony said, alarmed. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "Yeah, it just hurts sometimes. It usually don't . . . I can't feel anything below the middle of my back . . ." He lay breathing heavily for a moment.

"I'm pretty bad off, ain't I, Pony?"

"You'll be okay," Pony said with fake cheerfulness. "You gotta be. We couldn't get along without you."

"Yeah," Cocoa said, joining in, "Dally would probably do something insanely stupid, so ya gotta get up."

Johnny smiled, "He would, wouldn't he?"
Cocoa nodded, "Yeah."

"I won't be able to walk again," Johnny started, then faltered. "Not even on crutches. Busted my back."

"You'll be okay," Pony repeated firmly.

"You want to know something, Ponyboy? I'm scared stiff. I used to talk about killing myself . . ."

He drew a quivering breath. "I don't want to die now. It ain't long enough. Sixteen years ain't long enough. I wouldn't mind it so much if there wasn't so much stuff I ain't done yet and so many things I ain't seen. It's not fair. You know what? That time we were in Windrixville was the only time I've been away from our neighborhood."

"You ain't gonna die," Pony said,his fists clenched in his lap.
"And don't get juiced up, because the doc won't let us see you no more if you do."

Johnny closed his eyes and rested quietly for a minute. Cocoa jumped up and pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket pocket, "I drew you a picture!" Johnny smiled as Cocoa showed him a picture of a little puppy and a bigger dog sitting next to each other. The bigger dog was black and the small one brown. "I love it Cocoa," Johnny said with a happy smile.

A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Johnny," she said quietly, "your mother's here to see you." Johnny opened his eyes. At first they were wide with surprise, then they darkened.

"I don't want to see her," he said firmly. "She's your mother."
"I said I don't want to see her." His voice was rising. "She's probably come to tell me about all the trouble I'm causing her and about how glad her and the old man'll be when I'm dead. Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once"- his voice broke- "for once just to leave me alone."

He was struggling to sit up, but he suddenly gasped, went whiter than the pillowcase, and passed out cold. The nurse hurried Cocoa and Pony out the door. "I was afraid of something like this if he saw anyone."
They ran into Two- Bit, who was coming in. "You can't see him now," the nurse said, so Two- Bit handed her the book.

"Make sure he can see it when he comes around." She took it and closed the door behind her.

Two- Bit stood and looked at the door a long time. "I wish it was any one of us except Johnny," he said, and his voice was serious for once.

"We could get along without anyone but Johnny." Turning abruptly, he said, "Let's go see Dallas."