How to die laughing

ELEVEN

  Monday morning, I'm running late for class. I overslept and missed the bus, maybe it is because I spent most of the night trying to rid my body of the stench from that weird stuff Joe poured on me.

  I arrive at school in a nick of time and head over to my locker and open it, something is very wrong with it,  I don't remember dropping a big spellbook in my locker. I sigh.

  It's probably Joe that dropped it here trying to be nice, I think. But then I think, how did he now my lock code?

  I shrug the idea off and throw the book in the trash and head of to class. Jackson and I are about to prank one of our most annoying teachers, Mr. Philps.

  "Good morning class," Mr. Philps greets, we all ignore him. He slams his hand on his desk, "GOOD MORNING CLASS!!" he says louder this time. "Good morning Mr..." someone farts to complete the sentence, that someone is me. Everyone laughs.

  He bangs his hand on the table, it's kinda what he does when he's angry, "You ill-mannered children" he says and then takes a seat, the seat makes a farting noise, we all laugh. Mr.Philips stands up angrily, "somethings wrong with this chair," he says and everyone laughs.

 Mr.Philips sits down back, no fart noise."Huh, I thought there was something..." He says but was cut short by a louder long-lasting fart. Everyone laughs, Mr. Philips leaves the class fuming.

  You're probably wondering what's making the noise, I'll explain. Jackson invented a fart cushion which of course makes fart noises, so we switched it with Mr. Philips cushion and we controlled it to make fart noises on cue sending our teacher out of the class.

  I open my bag looking for a pen, that's when I see it, the spellbook. I pick it up and walk out of class, "Where are you going?" Jackson asks me, "just wanna dispose of this," I say referring to the book in my hands.

  I head out to the field the spellbook in one hand and a shovel in the other, I start digging immediately then bury it up. I walk back to class, the teacher hasn't returned. I groan out loud when I see the book sitting on my desk. I haul it out the window and the book comes flying back, colliding with my face.

   Everyone laughs, I walk out of the class to the toilet were I rip it to shreds and flush it down the toilet, I walk out and trip over something, the book, the same one  I ripped to shred and flush. Someone is playing a prank on me, I think."Real funny," I call out loud thinking the prankster will just reveal himself, no such luck.

  I head over to the Janitors' room and then look around for something until my eyes find it, the old shredder, I stuff the book in the shredder opening and switch it on. I carry the pieces of paper and throw them away, whoever is pranking me has just been thwarted, I think but I'm wrong as always.