boyfriend | fillie

bad vibes

It'd been about two weeks since Finn had decided he wanted to take a break, I'd stayed in my room and didn't leave. My mother was a bit worried and whenever I got up to use the washroom, she would leave my meals on my desk. of course I was throwing up constantly so I was always in the washroom, and you'd be shocked but. I didn't get an abortion.
I tried to do it, I really did. But it was too hard, especially with the way Finn took it. I'd stop trying to contact Finn after the first week of him ignoring my calls and text messages. I'd spoke with his mother and she said she would have a few words with him, but I'm assuming her words didn't do anything because the father of my child still hadn't picked up the phone to send me a quick text or a call. I still hadn't told my mother, I told Jenna and she swore to not tell our mom. But I didn't know what I was supposed to do once I started to grow a baby bump, she'd figure it out eventually. She'd probably kick me out of the house, and with Finn not wanting to speak to me, I'd be fucked.

I was about four weeks pregnant, and since I was so small I hadn't gotten a small bump yet, today I was gonna go to Finn's house and physically demand to speak with him. I went to pick out some sweatpants and a baggy white t-shirt, I put them aside and grabbed a towel from my closet and walked into the bathroom down the hall. I turned the water on and made it sure it was hot but not enough it would burn me, i started to undress slowly and step into the shower. I stood still under the shower for a moment and looked at the wall, I couldn't believe I was actually pregnant. To be completely honest, I never even planned on having a child at all. My mind was a blurry mess, all I could think about was when Finn got angry with me, why was he so upset? I didn't mean to get pregnant on purpose? I was such a mess that day and he didn't he feel bad for me, he didn't have any sort of sympathy for me, he was so quick to say he didn't wanna be with me anymore. It hurt me so bad, I knew I had treated him badly before, but this was different. I was having a baby and he didn't even care to tell me everything would be okay, even if I knew it wouldn't be, those words were all I wanted to hear him say. I started to clean my hair with shampoo and conditioner, I rubbed my scalp slowly and watched the suds roll down my bare skin, my eyes stopped at my stomach. I took my hands out of my hair and held my stomach, and started to cry. I couldn't believe I had let this happen, all I could think was 'what's wrong with you?' I What did I do to deserve this? I let go of my pregnant belly and placed my face into my palms and leaned down a bit, I cried like this for a while. I sniffled and rinsed my hair and the suds off my body, I turned the water off and hopped out m, wrapping the white towel around my skin.

I changed into my clothes and put my hair in a high ponytail, I wasn't really trying to impress Finn, I just wanted him to know how much I needed him, especially at a time like this.

I grabbed my small purse and hung it over my shoulder and let it lean against my leg. I walked outside and sighed, as I started to walk, my pace got quicker then slower, I would take full stops out of nowhere and just think about what I was gonna say, there wasn't really a point to it anyway, I'd forget it all by the time I got to his house. I soon found myself standing in front of the door and holding my dainty index finger up to the doorbell, I usually knocked but decided to ring. I took a deep breath then pressed the shiny button, I looked down, afraid that honestly, Finn would be the one to answer the door. And with my luck, it was. He wore some sweatpants and a red shirt, he looked down at me and sighed, his expression wasn't anger, but it wasn't guilt, like I hoped it'd be. Instead, it was just his normal expression, kind of like a resting bitch face I guess. "Come in." He moved aside and held his arm out for me to enter the house, I nodded and kept my head down, stepping into his house and heard the door kind of slam behind me, causing me to jump a bit. I turned around with my head still to the ground, I was so afraid of how this conversation was gonna go, he kind of looked worried, probably because he didn't really know how this would go either, like he didn't know what to say. It was really quiet for a while, then he coughed and I looked up to him finally, he had his hands in his pockets and was looking down, "I didn't get an abortion." I spoke up and it sounded stern, which i didn't mean for it to. He looked up at me, no anger or guilt, more so surprise. "Why not?" he did sound frustrated though. "I could bring myself to do it, I got the pills. But I just couldn't go through with it." I tried not to cry, now was not the time to cry. He sighed and looked away, trying to find something to answer me with. "Millie.. Listen.. I can't have a baby right now." He seemed to be getting closer to me and I looked away from him. "I've got too much on my plate, the last thing I need right now is to take care of a baby nonstop." I felt his fingers touch my chin to pull my face up but I refused and hit his hand away, he sighed and looked down again. "You're acting like its my fault, you think I wanted to get pregnant right now? I'm only 16." I looked up to him, trying my best to make him guilty but nothing seemed to work. "to be honest, I kind of just assumed you were on the pill." I rolled my eyes and kissed my teeth "you shouldn't assume, it makes an ass out of you and me." He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows, I poured out my lip a bit and gave him a facial expression that read 'I'm angry, don't you get it?'. "Well what do you want me to do now? you're already pregnant." "It's your child!" He rolled his eyes and looked at me again "not my fault." I started to become angry and looked at him with my eyebrows scrunched "what?! It is your fault! You physically shot your cells into me and got me pregnant!" He raised an eyebrow at the way I was speaking, I was really upset. He was acting like this wasn't an issue that needed to be dealt with, "what? You don't think this is serious ? Finn. I can't have a baby, I'm not even done being a child myself yet. I'm not even done high school." I started cry and mentally punched myself in the face, I began to feel heat rush over my cheeks and the hot tears roll down my red cheeks. He looked at me, a small amount of guilt had finally come across him. "Millie, stop crying." I sniffles and hiccuped as I tried to wipe the wetness away, but it came rushing down my hot cheeks again. "why don't you wanna be with me anymore?" I sniffled and wipes my tears away with my fist, he was at loss for words and began stuttering. I wanted to slap him across the face so hard that it would leave a red hand print on the side of his face, I knew he wouldn't let me anyway, he'd just grab my wrist and make sure I didn't. "Millie, that's not it.. I just.. i can't have a baby right now, neither of us have time to take care of something that needs to be looked after 24/7." "B-but your m-mom said.. s-she'd help." I hiccuped and cried even harder than before, my heart started to hurt and my throat became extremely dry just like the day it had been when I told Finn I was pregnant. "I don't wanna rely on my mother, Millie." "I have to! Nobody else will help me! I can't do this on my own!" I screamed at him, earning a small jump from him and a shocked expression on his face, I cried and covered my face with my hands, soon feeling a big embrace around me. I couldn't help but latch onto the tall boy, I ached for this so bad for weeks now, I wanted his touch, him to hug me and tell me I'd be okay. "I-i love you, Finn.. I just.." "it'll be okay." Those words made me smile so much, that's all I waned to hear. I laughed a bit and reached up to kiss his cheek, he blushed a bit and smiled, I didn't know what all this meant. Were we having a baby? "Millie, I will be there for you, but this is gonna ruin everything." He trailed off a bit and hugged me tighter "I-I know.." I sighed and he kissed the top of my head. I smiled to myself and just pressed my face against his chest, we were having a baby, how on earth was this humanly possible ?
We're fucked.

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A/N: I just wanna say this chapter was really hard to write, because I don't believe anyone should have a baby at this age. I know myself how hard it can be, I was pregnant once myself and had to get an abortion so this was extremely triggering for me to make. Anyway I don't support teen pregnancy and I'm not trying to "romanticize" teen pregnancy.
Anyway I hope you liked it and sort for spelling mistake or whatever.
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