Random stuff I find in my google docs account

I titled the doc 'Motivation' but idek wth it is

So this was that one time in my life when I liked someone and she kinda liked me back but since we were still in middle school we didn't want a relationship so... me and my angst...

TW: spiraling thoughts of yelling at yourself.

It starts here:
"If u read the title this is more of a, HEY COULD YOU PLEASE GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
Than a motivational speech

You don't have to push her away. You don't have to go all in(you shouldn't). You need to wait. And actually be willing to. And wait for the mistakes that drain you to wash away. Pick yourself up price by piece. Wait. For. It. Wait. For. It. Be a bit more chill, friendly, less lovey dovey stuff. Like BLOWING KISSES AHEM. Ik it's painful to watch her suffer but being a friend is coolio too. You have to learn or nothing in life will work. WHY are you all ways falling apart. WHY does EVERYONE ELSE have to be so ahead of you. WHY must you complain. WHY must you be like this. WHY can't you just be normal. WHY can't you just be what they want? Why can't you learn on your own. Why do u need a hand holding you each step of the way. I would say it's pathetic but we don't need that right now. We gotta be a better person. We need to stop saying we, because you're crazy. You should stop thinking about death. Think about life. What life can do for you. Be less... I don't wanna say depressed but uh... depressed. Be a good fricken friend. BE A GOOD FRICKEN FRIEND. Cuz if relationship doesn't work, or you need time to wait, be a friend. Nothing more no matter what. Because what's there when u have a crisis and you don't wanna start turning into a tomato? A friend. Like Hannah. LIKE HANNAH. You don't have to 'fall in love' with everyone you meet. You need to person the hell up and be a friend. Because they don't need a star crossed lover. They need a friend. So maybe it'll be a boy? Maybe a girl? But she needs a friend. BUT SHE NEEDS A FRIEND. And you are going to give her one hell of a friend. Becuase that's what she needs. She doesn't need the attention. She doesn't need me to be anything specific. No. That's bullshit and you're basically drunk for thinking that. She needs a damn good friend. So don't go all blushy and cute around her. Be a friend god damn it. Be a freind."

So... I was a really interesting seventh grader...