Something Borrowed

Chapter 15

Amelia

For the first two weeks of her new life as Mrs. Joshua Tucker, Amelia saw even less of the man than she'd seen in the weeks preceding their union. He rose before she awoke and returned long after she'd gone to bed. His attendance at family meals was spotty at best and when he did grace the table with his presence the bulk of his time was spent engaged with Melissa or his odious father.

At first, Amelia was relieved.

Then she was anxious that he was regretting his decision to marry her.

Then she was annoyed, and it was only her annoyance with which she dared bend Melissa's ear.

"Is he always this dratted busy?" she asked one morning as the two stretched their legs in the orchard. Amelia was wearing her heavy winter coat, and Melissa a light shawl. Western winters were an object of legend back in St. Louis, but Amelia couldn't imagine weather colder than what they were experiencing. Already, the chill nipped harshly at the delicate skin of her cheeks and nose, numbing her toes despite the thick wool socks Josh had purchased for her.

Melissa tugged the shawl about her and raised her nose to the air, closing her eyes and smiling as stubborn orange sunlight bathed her face. "It's going to be a hard winter," she said, and Amelia didn't know if that was an answer to her question or if she was just filling the silence while she thought of an answer. "He's always busy, Amelia," she said, shrugging one shoulder. "You married the foreman of a successful ranch. If you wanted to while away your days in bed, you should've gone and found yourself another wanderer like Brent."

Melissa had a way of saying terribly inappropriate things with such nonchalance it took Amelia's mind a second to register the offense. She'd gotten used to it. Stopped sputtering in slack-jawed horror. It still made her neck burn, though.

"That's not what I meant," she said, raising her shoulders and ducking down into the collar of her coat, breathing warmth into its confines and dancing a little on frozen feet. The sun was peeking over a distant hill, its light cutting a clear, vibrant path through the frigid air. The entire landscape before them was cast in gold. Sunlight glinting off frost, Amelia knew, but still... she felt if she ran down into the valley below she could scrape enough gold leafing off the ground to earn millions.

"What did you mean then?" Melissa asked, her voice half-teasing, half-sympathetic.

"Just..." What did she mean? "Just that he asked me to marry him," she said, parsing out her feelings as she spoke. "It was such a nice proposal, Lisa. And when we talked, it was like... like maybe he wasn't my one true love, but I thought we could come to be good friends. We're going to be married until one of us dies, you know. So I thought it would be good to be friends, at least. But now it's like he can't stand to be in the same room as me."

Melissa sighed, her breath a dense cloud of unspoken words that floated up and away. Amelia watched her own breath do the same and hugged herself tighter. Part of her feared Melissa would dig deeper and ask questions she didn't know if she should answer truthfully. She trusted her friend, but admitting that her marriage wasn't yet consummated seemed a terrible risk.

"Amelia, the circumstances of your marriage were a little different," she said finally, squinting against the light as she watched the horizon. "If I know Josh, and I do know Josh, he's trying to give you time to get used to the new order. Relationships are like a dance, you know. Even if it isn't love you're after, just friendship. It's still a dance. You've been letting him lead you in the steps, and I suppose he just got worried he was leading you too fast."

Amelia thought about that as her friend fell silent. She'd known the answer all along, but it was hidden beneath a protective layer of self-doubt and disgruntlement. Lord of mercy, but she'd have no choice but to talk to him. Another painfully awkward clash of her insecurities against his. Another stilted, business-like agreement, perhaps to spend an allotted amount of time together each day, getting to know each other. Maybe she'd write down some questions they could ask each other, or something like that.