F***in' Arizona

Straight from The Horse's Mouth Pt. 3 (Chapter 8)

Before we both went our separate ways, we met up and spent the weekend together. I told my parents that I was going with Blaire and her family on their last family road trip before she left for school, but in actuality, Charlie and I went on a short road trip together.

A lot of the trip was just us staying in bed, but a lot of it was also the both of us voicing our concerns about the long distance and how we were going to make things work out. We both agreed that we would give it our best even though we knew how much we were going to miss the other.

"I've already got a few assignments, but nothing too hard so far. I'm trying to take a mix of my gen-ed and core classes. I don't want to be stuck taking my core classes all the way in my last semester. I want to be able to relax in my home stretch, you know? How are things going for you? New York treating you good? You'll have to bring me a lot of food on your trip over here," I say laughing.

"New York is great! Other than the fact that I'm not looking forward to the cold weather, there are too many cars and pollution here, I still haven't learned the subway lines all the way, some of the people are rude as shit, and my dorm is tiny; it's great!
No, seriously, besides all of that, my classes are going well so far, I've been making new friends, I'll be playing football, all of the different types and flavors of food here is really what's the best thing. I've also kind of found a little lbgtq+ community on the campus and we do a lot of stuff together."

"That's great to hear! I'm glad you're adapting so well. I miss you a lot though and I can't wait to see you again."

"Same here. I mostly miss that dick though."

"Charlie!"

The both of us laugh and sit in silence for a minute.

"So, are you a part of anything lbgtq related?" Charlie asks me.

"I mean not really. I'm just going about my way. I've been to a couple events and met some people who are a part of the active community though."

"So, you're not out yet still?"

"What do you mean? Did you think that as soon as I got here, I was going to go to the local newspaper and ask them to run a story about me being gay? Why do I have to tell everybody?"

"I mean it just sounds like you want to be a closet gay. You yourself said you would be out once you got into college."

"Why can't I just live my normal life though? Can I not be gay without telling every person I see? Are you afraid that I won't claim you as my boyfriend when you come to visit? Because if that's the case, you don't have to worry about that. I love you Charlie. The people I hang out with here know I have a boyfriend, my roommate knows, and my team knows. Who else are you expecting to know? All of California?"

"I'm sorry Ari. You're right, I was just kind of worried that no one knew about me and that you were ashamed of me. Call it insecurities. But I'm happy to know that you aren't tired of me yet!"

"I'm not ashamed of you. I just don't believe people should be all in my business if I haven't allowed them to be. And I should be free to date who I want to date, and like who I want to like without having to make a declaration to the entire west coast. But, no I'm not tired of you yet. Give it a few more months though, then ask me again."

We both laugh and continue to talk well into the night until the both of us are too tired to stay awake any longer.

*A few months more into the semester*

I caught myself daydreaming during one of my more boring classes of the day.

Chin resting on the palm of my hand and me staring out the window into the vastly populated abyss that was the university campus.

I was thinking about how hungry I was and how I could really go for a couple of donuts.

.....

Who am I kidding, I could go for a whole box. This whole diet thing that the coach has all of us on is really messing me up. I've been craving a donut for a week now. Thinking about donuts makes me in turn think about Nova. I miss that kinky curly natural black haired golden dark brown beauty.

I miss the way she laughed at my stupid jokes or told me when I was being dumb, then would act stupid right with me. Or when she would give me her signature "dead look" and roll her eyes when she was angry with me.
Her brown/black eyes the way they would shine when she smiled that dimpled smile of hers. I miss just telling her random things or hearing her speak cheerily about the things that interests her, or complain about the woes of her life. I haven't talked to her in a while. She loves donuts.

I miss my best friend. How in the world did we even get too preoccupied to contact each other? I guess distance and not being able to see someone everyday can really take a toll on a relationship.

Hell, I even miss Maya. Yeah, she's crazy, but she's funny and sweet with a side of rude. She's a real chill person and I'm glad to also call her my friend. I wonder if she's found a boyfriend yet. Maybe I can play matchmaker for her like I did with Remi and Nova.

From time to time I talk to Remi and he tells me how he and Nova are doing. They're still going strong and he's always talking about how glad he is that I butted into his love life those years ago.
He's even more glad that he was able to extend his visa to allow him to go to college in the U.S. for a year too. That way he gets to stay here a little longer and he gets a little more time with his girl before he has to go. I'm glad to know that someone is taking care of my girl while I can't.

Sometimes I think and laugh about how we weren't even friends back then before the day in the library. I mean we would occasionally say hello in the hallway or say a few sentences to each other, but I did that with a lot of random people. It was just my nature to be friendly towards everyone, but I know she didn't like me very much back then.

Then she surprised me with how intuitive she is, and I decided to entrust her with my secret, which she kept, and we've been besties ever since. Although you wouldn't much know it now since we haven't spoken. I need to fix that.

"Mr. Matthews do you know the answer?" I heard my teacher say from the front of the room.

"Answer? Um..."

"The sun and stars," the kid next to me whispers.

"The sun and stars," I say out loud which makes my teacher smile and nod in approval.

Hmm, the sun and stars.

Nova.

I think I'll cheat and get donuts today.