His Two Lives || JJK

I Can't Help It

-Then what is it? Look at you! You can't even get closer to me!- I insisted, trying to get an answer out of him.
-It's not what you think, Shina, seriously... I... It's just that... This is embarrassing...-
-What is embarrassing? Being with me?- My emotions were changing from anger to sadness. I was scared of his answer. My eyes were getting wet.
-What?! NO! Are you crazy? I'm not talking about that!- He stopped for a moment, he seemed to notice my watery eyes. The next thing I knew was that he was hugging me, so tight that I felt like I couldn't breathe, but then I heard his heart beating so fast in his chest and mine was beating at the same rate. A few tears fell from my eyes, but I didn't really know what they meant at that point, I didn't know what to feel anymore.

-I'm sorry...- He whispered.
Then he was about to break the hug, but my arms instantly found their way around his waist and stopped him. He kept hugging me, caressing my head and my back. It was the more at peace and safe I'd ever felt.
-I didn't mean to make you upset...- He continued. -I meant that what I feel is embarrassing...- He paused, then started to talk again. -I can't help it... Now that we are together, all I want to do when you're around is to... hold your hand and... hug you and... kiss you...- I could feel he was trying to fight his shyness to explain to me how he felt. I was definitely appreciating his effort.
-And what's wrong with that?- I asked, getting shy myself and hugging him tighter. The fact that we weren't facing each other and looking into each other's eyes probably helped both of us to have this honest talk.
-Well, firstly I didn't know if you wanted the others to know about us and then... I'm afraid I won't be able to focus anymore during lessons... I know it sounds stupid, but...-
-It's okay...- I interrupted him. -It's not stupid... I don't want you to be distracted at school because of me... I know you love following the lesson...-
-I don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring you or something...-
-I won't... Just tell me when and where I can distract you and I'll be there...- I said and we both started giggling.
Then we faced each other without breaking the hug and he dried the tears on my cheeks.
-I'm sorry...- He said again and I could see how bad he felt by looking at his sad eyes.
-Stop saying that... It's my fault, I shouldn't have come to conclusions...-
-Well, I shouldn't have acted in a way that would have made you come to this conclusion...-
-Well, it doesn't matter now... It's all good...- I said, reassuring him. Then I broke the hug and stepped back. -Now let's not distract each other, shall we?- I said, sarcastically.
He laughed shyly. And I could feel it, I was falling in love with him. And there was no turning back.

-Should we go back to the cafeteria, before lunch break finishes?- He asked.
I nodded, still lost in my thoughts.
-So, what should we say to them?- He asked, while we were walking back to the cafeteria.
-To who?- I was still a bit distracted.
-Our friends. Do you... want to tell them about... us?- He asked and I got out of my trance.
-Oh, I... don't know... What do you think?- I asked, not sure of what to do.
-I mean, if you want to... I don't mind it...-
-I just don't feel like doing an announcement or stuff like that... I mean, they'll figure it out by themselves, I guess...-
-Okay, then we're not saying anything...-
-Okay, good...- I said, as we got inside the cafeteria. But, out of nowhere, he took my hand.
-What are you doing?- I asked confused, while half of the people in the cafeteria was staring at us.
-I'm helping them figure it out...- He said, smiling.
Shit! Can he stop being this cute?!
I forgot about the embarrassing situation and I proudly walked through the cafeteria hand in hand with him.
As soon as our friends saw us coming, they started to whistle and clap their hands.
-I told you!- Hoseok said to Seokjin.
-How was I supposed to know? He's not the type to date...-
-Well, Shina isn't either... That was the whole point!- Hoseok said back.
-Guys, no need to fight...- I said while taking a seat next to my boyfriend.
-I mean, I kinda had a suspect too, but I didn't think it would take such a short time...- Soojin added.
-Guys, can you stop talking about us? We're here!- I said, laughing.
-Okay, so... Who did the first move?- Namjoon asked, curious.
-Me... Duh!- I said, laughing. I was in a really good mood. The fact that our friends were so supportive just made me happy.
-What do you mean "duh"?- Jungkook asked.
-Well, Jungkook, we all know you're too shy to make the first move...- Seokjin answered.
-I mean, Shina was pretty shy around him too... That's why I thought it was gonna take forever...- Soojin added, with her know-it-all attitude.
-Thank you for exposing me like that, Soo...- I said to her, while finishing my meal.
-You're very welcome, sweetie...- She answered, sarcastically.
After that, the bell rang and we had to go back to class.