His Two Lives || JJK

Second First Kiss

-Yes- He said in a whisper, but it was probably the most clearly I've ever heard something in my life.
"Yes" what, Jungkook? Be specific!
-What?- I asked, trying to clear any doubts.
He lowered his head. He was looking at his hands, in embarrassment.
How can he be so cute? Focus, Shina! This is serious!
-Yes, I do like you... But I can't compete with him-
-What are you talking about?- I asked, confused.
-I mean, you like him, not me... Obviously...- He said, his voice getting thinner and thinner.
-What part of "I like you both" did you not understand?-
Like, seriously? What's wrong with these two? Why can't they understand how I feel?
-But you can't like us both... We're too different...-
-Well, Justin thinks the same thing, so you're not that different... And apparently you both like me, so...-
Did I just say that? Oh my gosh, I'm becoming so shameless!
-Yeah, but this is the first time we... like the same person...- He said, hesitantly.
-Well, it's also the first time you know someone that knows Justin too, so I don't think it counts...- I pointed out.
-Well, technically I know the people that know Justin, I've just never met them before...-
-And you've never liked some of Justin's girlfriends?- The topic was getting interesting.
-Well, technically he has never had a girlfriend... They were all hook ups, I think that's how they call them... But anyway, I.. I've never liked someone in general, so...- He tried to look at me in the eyes while saying that, but at the end his gaze turned back to his hands that were constantly moving on his lap and he bit his bottom lip.
Oh God, I wanna kiss him so bad! For God's sake, Shina, I said focus!

I didn't know what to say after he basically admitted that I was the first girl he ever liked. He also was the first boy I ever liked or at least the first I really wanted to be with, the one I'd be willing to break my promise of not having a boyfriend for. I didn't even know why I was so attracted to him, not only physically, I mean, yeah, he's pretty hot, but I was also attracted by his personality, well, all of his personalities. He was like a black hole for me. I was inevitably pulled into his life and there was no way I could escape it.
And just like that, without even realizing it, I was getting closer to him on the couch, pulled by his gravitational field. He finally looked up, his eyes checking my every move. He didn't back off even though he could have, because that couch was huge. So I took that as a sign to keep going. And I did. I got closer to his lips, I closed my eyes and kissed him gently. At first he wasn't really responding, but then he started kissing back, so softly that I felt goosebumps. My right hand found his cheek and he laid on it, tilting his head a bit, which was the cutest thing ever. I took the opportunity to start giving him open mouthed kisses, I took his lower lip, the one he kept biting, in between my lips. I could feel him stiffening and I got scared I could have exaggerated a bit, but then I felt him relaxing again and trying to mimick my lips movements. It felt like it was our first kiss, slowly exploring every possibility and trying to find out how to do it and what we liked better. And even though I already had my first kiss with Justin and I really liked it, this one was different. But I couldn't pick one that I liked more than the other, because I liked them both in their own way. Just like I liked Justin and Jungkook in different ways, but I liked them both equally and I couldn't do anything about it.

With these thoughts in mind, I sadly interrupted the kiss, because I needed to sort things out.
-Did I... Did I do something wrong?- He asked me with a worried look when I stopped kissing him.
Can he be any cuter?
-What? No, no absolutely not, I just... wanted to talk about this... I mean, we can't keep kissing each other if we don't know where this is going...-
Where's all this courage coming from, today?! I'm on a roll!
He was about to say something, but I stopped him with my words, too scared of what he was going to say.
-I mean, I don't want to pressure you into anything, I know it's a complicated situation, but I... I just want to be with you... And by "you" I don't mean Jungkook and I don't mean Justin either... I mean YOU... Whatever you are and whatever you want to be... I just...- I couldn't go on. The words got stuck in my throat and I lowered my head. I had so much more to say but it felt like I didn't have enough words to say it.

-How can you be so shameless?- His voice made my eyes go wide, but when I looked at him, he was giggling.
Is he making fun of me now?
-What are you doing?- I asked, a bit annoyed.
-I'm sorry... It's just that... It's fascinating how you speak your mind...- He said, trying to be serious, probably scared by my annoyed expression.
-Well, at this point I might as well say everything... I mean, I've already made pretty clear that I like you...- I said, realizing that, yes, I was being pretty outspoken that day.
-Well, since we're being honest, I...- He cleared his throat. -I want you to be my girlfriend...- He said, taking me by surprise. His cheeks were turning red and so were mine.
Before I could anything, he added something else.
-But, Justin is going to be mad... I don't even know how it's possible that he didn't come already and kick me out of this conversation...-
-Right, Justin's not gonna like it... Well, I'll come up with something... Don't worry about him...- I said with confidence even though I had no clue on how to do it.